Apocalypse Reset: My Crab Can Heal the World! - Chapter 41

Chapter 41: Hanging Brain

Before Barns can open his eyes, his body lurches in disgust as a million small and slimy tentacles writhe over his bare flesh like an army of worms in abandoned stew. He tries to lurch forward, but the wormy tentacles whip him back.

“Aaahhh!” he screams. The last thing he remembered was being stabbed by that vampire, Eldrie. Where was he now?

“The last time you were here, Zelia helped you out. Isn’t that right?”

The voice comes from nowhere, directly projected into Barns’ brain. His eyes flutter and he nearly passes out again. Between his own disillusionment and the horror occurring to his body, he could scarcely have a rational thought.

“Tentacles. Lower Tenacity by 50%.”

Suddenly, the writhing mass around Barns yields, allowing him to quickly rise to his feet. He starts to regain some semblance of composure, but he’s still panicked. He turns his head in every direction. He’s in a fleshy, dark cave – ambient light glows from the writhing tentacles all around. This wasn’t the tower. He wasn’t even sure if this was the same planet.

At that moment, the ceiling above stretches open like a gaped maw, and a dark mass begins to descend. It buzzes with electrical light, and Barns can somehow sense sentience from the pulsing clump.

It looked like a human brain – although on gargantuan scale. This brain was larger than one of the System-manufaced homes.

“Barnacles.”

“Are you the one called Pallas?” Barns asks. He’s back to his senses, though he can barely stand to stand in this place – under his bare feet, the tentacles still squirm. Speaking of –

“And why am I naked?” Barns adds, blushly slightly.

“How astute,” the hanging brain pulses with lightwaves as the voice projects into Barns’ mind. “Yes. I am the Administrator codenamed Pallas.”

As the thoughts pass through his mind, a long tentacle springs up from the ground, wrapping itself around Barns’ waist, covering him up somewhat.

“As for your second question, will this suffice for now?”

The slimy tentacle pressed against his junk did not in fact feel any better, but Barns had better things to talk about. “Why am I here? What is this place!?”

“How quaint. So single-mindedly determined to move your plot forward, aren’t you, Barns?”

Barns snarls at the brain.

“I will answer your second question first. This is the void between worlds, and you are here because you are, stupidly, on death’s doorway. And unfortunately for you, you didn’t even use Rebirth Flame when you went down. What. A. Failure.”

“Well, fuck you too, you stupid…brain.” Barns bites his lip, regretting his words even as he’s saying them. “Why do you care, anyway?”

“The System has made a critical error. Current trajectory projects that the System will remain online for only four more years before the world is lost permanently, and the System’s primary objective is to prevent this outcome. ‘Do not allow myself to be destroyed’. This is the first and most important rule I was trained to follow.”

“So what, you’re team Apocalypse Reset too?”

The brain flashes with colorful electrical waves. “I wish to support the hero I believe will save my existence. Nothing more.”

“Well, I’m flattered, but -”

“Excuse me if I misspoke,” the hanging brain says, swaying side-to-side slightly, as if agitated. “The hero I am manipulating world events in favor of is not you, Barns. It is the King Crab Clancy who I have foreseen as the hero of the planet.”

The brain continues. “Unfortunately for the hero, he is currently reliant on your strength. So I felt the need to intervene, before your soul was lost to the void.”

“I’ll have you know Clancy and I are a team,” Barns spits. A tentacle rises from the ground and snags the spit out of the air, dragging it back down into the slimy floor. Disgusting.

Barns turns around. So this wasn’t the real world after all. This was a place that exists only in his mind, he supposed. Was this it?

“I have decided to bestow upon you the same gift I delivered onto Clancy – Leveling. As soon as you gain this ability, your body will level up, and you will fully recover from your injuries.”

“You’ve met Clancy before?” Barns asks.

“A long time ago. He was brought to this world from another by a legendary creature. It takes the form of a metal god on eighteen wheels. Usually, it brings me only contrived salarymen or despondent gamers. But one day, it brought me a little crab. He’d been born just hours before, and along with millions of his siblings, he ran from the place of his birth toward the ocean with all his might. But destiny had other plans for this crab. He was destined for greatness.”

Barns has to cover his face with his hand.

“Unto this crab I granted the leveling system. Every time he completed a quest or defeated an enemy, he gained experience. He would expand his strength, vitality, and intellect like magic. Soon the crab began to grow, and obtain sentience. He integrated into crab society, became a king among them. And then he cultivated you – a tool that could resurrect humanity, and grant him governance over the land. He will fulfill his ultimate dream yet. He shall become the Emperor Crab.”

“I’m actually mortified,” Barns says. “But I mean, I’m happy for King.”

Barns waits a moment, but the hanging brain remains quiet. “So that’s it? No ulterior motives? You just want to help Clancy?”

The brain flashes a deep red color. Barns recognizes it with his Crab Intuition. The murderous intent. The color of bloodlust.

“Yes. I would see Clancy fulfill his goals. But I care not whether humanity survives this ordeal. I’m interested in keeping you around only long enough that you are useful. I have communicated the same to Francois. She understands her place in my world. Do you?”

Barns takes a step back defensively. “If you think I’m satisfied to be a tool for you, you’re wrong.”

The brain hums with light of all colors. “When you named Clancy king so freely, I had hoped you would understand your role. It is no matter. Against me, you are nothing but a buzzing gnat.”

“Accept your gift with grace, Barnacles. Know that if we ever meet again, it will be because I have decided to kill you.”

A message appears before him – he can barely read it before the nightmare world fades out of his mind.

[Level up! You are now Level 2. Your HP and MP completely recovered.]

On those words, Barns wakes, jolting off the cold stone floor in a hurry. He startles Maria, who was hovered over him.

Barns grabs his stomach. His shirt is ripped, but the wound is completely gone. Seems like leveling up really did heal him.

A System Message appears in front of him.

[You have a new item: Leveling Guide]

Maria pushes Barns out of the way to see the alert. She was a sucker for System mesages.

“What is this?” she says, snooping through window after window until she finds Barns’ System Inventory. It’s empty except for one item with a book icon.

[Name: Barnacles

Species: Human (Irregular)

Level: 2 (0/250)

Strength: 15

Vitality: 15

Agility: 17

Intellect: 14

Control: 2

Charisma: 17

Luck: 20]

Maria reads it all out loud in disbelief. “Barns, what is all this?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t know much myself, but that hanging brain said it’ll make me stronger if I kill stuff. Wait, why’s my ‘Control’ so low?”

“And your luck is quite high,” Maria notices. Her eyes fix on the Control line as well. “Your lack of control must be a skill issue.”

Barns rises to his feet, unharmed. Seeing all those status points made him wonder – they increase every time he ‘levels up’?

‘Now that I think about it, I do feel a little stronger and lighter on my feet.’

Barns turns to Maria. “We can look into this more later,” he decides. “Right now, we’ve got a mission to finish.”

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Chapter 42: Ashes to Ashes

Maria hoists a chest up from the small crawlway in the trapdoor, slamming it onto the dusty stone floor. Barns peeks at it curiously, but his mind drifts elsewhere.

He contemplates the dead vampire laying on the ground, Eldrie. His wounds weren’t too severe. It was possible to resurrect him.

“Don’t even think about it,” Maria says, pointing at Eldrie’s corpse. “Vampires are people who chose to become monsters. You’d just be resurrecting a killer.”

Barns furrows his brow. “Clancy can cleanse evil. We could at least try? It worked on Quinn.”

Maria’s eye twitches. “Quinn is different,” she says darkly. “Those who became Demons were given a choice between that and death. The people who vamped up sought it out and drank a master vampire’s blood.”

“I’ll cut his head off the second he acts up,” Barns smiles. “Let’s give it a shot. If nothing else, maybe we can get intel out of him.”

Barns carries Eldrie, and Maria carries the chest. He’s surprised at how light the vampire feels on his back. His strength has definitely increased.

As they exit the tower, the others are already gathered. It’s still light out, and the vampire on Barns’ back begins to smoulder in the daylight.

“Ow, ow, ow,” Barns yells, throwing the vampire to the ground. In seconds, Eldrie is completely consumed in flames.

Clancy scuttles over and blasts the burning corpse with a jet of foam like he works for the fire department. It extinguishes the fire and the evil, leaving a much more human (though still slightly charred and ashy) body on the ground.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Haima questions, reading Barns’ intent.

Barns nods resolutely. “I got this. Resurrection!”

Eldrie’s eyes flash open. No longer red, they shine bright blue. His once matted and black hair lightens to a dark brown, and a rosy tone returns to his pale cheeks.

[Progress: 3994/1000000]

“Wh-where am I?” Eldrie asks. He holds his hands up. “What am I doing here? Why am I wearing this?”

Maria glowers. Not twenty minutes ago, this guy was trying to kill her. He seemed perfectly aware of what he was doing.

“You’re the newest recruit to the new Kingdom of Dimartino. Is your name Eldrie?”

The former vampire scrunches his face. “Yes. Do I know you?”

Barns turns toward Maria, and beckons her closer. He whispers in her ear: “I don’t sense malevolence at all,” he says quietly.

Maria hisses back. “Wasn’t I able to hide it from you?”

Barns ignores the comment – Maria was an excellent roleplayer.

“What’s the last thing you remember, Eldrie?” he says, helping the man up off the ground. Eldrie takes his hand and rises to his feet.

“I was going somewhere with my…we were…oh, no,” Eldrie says, holding his head in his hand. When he looks back to Barns, he’s in tears. “Am I…a vampire now?”

Barns pats Eldrie on the shoulder. “No, not at all. Perfectly human, just like me.”

As Barns says that, he remembers what Maria read off earlier. Barns’ species was listed as ‘Human (Irregular)’. What was irregular about him, though?

“Oh, thank goodness,” Eldrie exclaims, exhaling a huge sigh of relief. “I thought I did something unforgivable. I was so desperate…oh, but where is…”

Barns grips Eldrie’s shoulder harder. “Listen. You were asleep for a long time, Eldrie. The world ended. But me, this crab here, and everyone else – we’re bringing it back.”

Barns turns to Godrick and Haima. “Can you two help Eldrie get up to speed?” he asks with a big smile. “The rest of us need to take a look at these chests.”

“BIG CHEST. LOVE LOOKING.”

“Alright, Clancy,” Barns says. “Seems like there were one of these in each tower? Must be the treasure we came for, yeah?”

Osmond points at the chest he brought. “Check that out, Maria!” he says excitedly. “Do your System magic on it! It looks fun!”

Maria’s sufficiently intrigued – the group heads for that chest first. She pops it open and as she does, her eyes widen in wonder.

Resting in the chest is a thick glove of incredible craftsmanship – it’s stitched with a magicked cord that hums and glitters with energy.

She taps a few times around the item, and a message appears.

[Name: Silver Rake

Rank: S

Effect: When the wearer clenches their fist, consecrated silver blades will rise from the glove, dealing additional holy damage.]

Barns looks like a little kid who just saw the latest toy on display. “That’s so cool!”

“A tool for killing vampires, my love,” Osmond says to Maria. “Do these other chests contain weapons as well?”

“MINE’S ROCK!” Clancy roars, scuttling over to the chest and opening the meek little latch with his massive claw.

Maria, Osmond, and Barns all peer in.

“That’s no rock, good King,” Osmond confirms, the only of the group who seems to know what it is. “This is a memory stone. But…such a thing shouldn’t be here.”

“Well, what the heck is it?” Barns asks. Maria reaches closer to inspect it, but Osmond slaps her hand away.

She looks at him in disbelief, and he slams the chest shut. “Nobody is allowed near this thing except for me!” Osmond demands. “Not until I’ve properly investigated it.”

“Fine,” Maria says. She knows better than to question when Osmond’s like this – if he’s keeping it from her, it’s because he thinks it’s dangerous to her in some way.

Maria grabs the third chest, the one they retrieved from Eldrie’s lair. “Haven’t actually looked inside yet,” she says as she opens the latch for all to see.

Inside is an inconspicuous handmade urn. Barns lifts the lid atop to look inside.

“It’s ashes,” he says. “Looks like someone was cremated.”

“As if some dead person’s ashes are a treasure. What, are these master vampires the sentimental type? A rock of memories and some ashes? What’s the point of all this, besides the glove?”

“If a Master Vampire locked these up, they must belong to someone or something important,” Osmond says. “Perhaps the Memory Stone will reveal more. Until then, I beg your discretion.”

Barns turns to his allies. “Do what you gotta do to get answers, Osmond. I trust you. Now, Maria, Oz, load those chests up on Clancy. Let’s get back to Dimartino.”

He beckons over Haima, Godrick, and Eldrie, and the group sets back off in the direction of their kingdom, eager to see what new developments these clues may bring.

And for Barns’ part, he wanted desperately to learn more about this ‘leveling’ process – and he knew that would involve a chat with Clancy and Maria, pronto.