(BL) Hunting The Field Guide - Chapter 192

Chapter 192: When things feel too good Chapter 192: When things feel too good Kellen was worried that he was getting used to this.  Opening his eyes, he found himself wrapped in the warmth that the Captain provided, his alarm blaring beside his head.

Again, he didn’t remember bringing up his phone which told him that Rhys brought it up at some point after he’d fallen asleep.

Flushing, Kellen groaned as he covered his face.  He’d been such a little drama queen yesterday.

Who got upset because their bare ass was in the air?

Kellen, obviously, and that only made him want to kick himself.  Berating himself early in the morning, Kellen was surprised when the warmth wrapped around him shifted, grumbling as he pressed a kiss against Kellen’s bare shoulder.  “Turn off that racket, would you?” Rhys grumbled, his voice deep with sleep and Kellen’s heart skipped a beat.

Turning, Kellen met the shimmery, yellow gaze of the Esper wrapped around him, slightly surprised to find him here.  Turning, he did as was asked of him before turning to stare at the Captain again.

Rhys cracked a grin.

“What?

You look like you’ve seen a ghost.

Did you not expect me to be here after you clung to me so desperately in your sleep?” Kellen’s cheeks flushed at being told what he’d done in his sleep before Rhys pulled him close again.

“It’s alright.

I didn’t want to leave either.” Rhys told him warmly, and Kellen frowned but only because his emotions felt too big for his body right now.  He was overwhelmed with how easily the Captain was accepting him.

Sure, they both liked each other, but Kellen didn’t really think that extended this far.

He’d never been in a relationship before, and he’d been told almost his whole life that he was supposed to be worth more.

That no one was going to settle for him.  He didn’t think that the Captain would be this easy on him.  Swallowing, Kellen gave the Captain a squeeze before slowly extracting him from around Kellen’s body.

Rhys frowned as Kellen sat on the edge of the bed for a moment.

Silent, still.  “Kellen?

Is something wrong?” Rhys asked, and Kellen shook his head.  “No.

I just need to go clear my head.” Kellen said and the sheets shifted behind him.  “That doesn’t sound like everything is fine.

Is it something I did?

Are you still mad about yesterday?” Rhys asked softly and Kellen shook his head.  “It’s…not you.

I promise.

I’m just…having a hard time wrapping my head around everything.

I’ll be fine once I work out enough to clear my head.

It’s always worked before.” Kellen’s voice trembled slightly, and he bit his lip away from Rhys’ view.  It was meaningless.  Rhys wrapped his arms around Kellen, pulling him back.  “It may have worked in the past, and I won’t fault you for continuing to do it, but bottling it up when it involves both of us isn’t going to do you any good, Sweetheart.” Rhys pressed a kiss against Kellen’s cheek, and Kellen turned his gaze to look at him.

Rhys’ eyes were still a little sleepy, but he was here with Kellen.

“I’ll let you go today, but if you don’t feel better, you need to come talk to me.

I’ll do the same if something pops up with me, alright?

It’s not a one way street.” Kellen nodded, emotion filling him.  “I…I’ll do my best.” Kellen muttered, unused to feeling like this.

Rhys pressed another kiss to his shoulder, giving him one more squeeze before releasing him.  “Alright.

I’m going to get some more sleep.

You head on out, alright?” Kellen nodded at his soft, warm words washing over him.

Kellen got off of the bed and headed for the closet to get changed.

The quiet sound of fabric sliding against his skin filled the air as he glanced over at the back of the Captain.

In his bed.

Kellen had a feeling that Rhys had reset himself recently, given how he wasn’t as aggressive as he usually was.

Kellen didn’t want to say jealous, but he just had a feeling inside of him that he wouldn’t have been this…chill about everything yesterday.

But who was he to say?

They hadn’t been around each other for two weeks, and as much as they had circled around each other for years, it was Kellen who had kept his distance.

Because he was afraid.  Like he was right now.  Kellen was very good at running head first into something.

He could plan for the first round, manage everything and make sure everyone got out safe.  But if the mission dragged on?  The sneaking tendrils of fear and worry would burrow into him.

Kellen was pretty good at hiding it, since most people hadn’t noticed that when things got off track that he would begin to panic.

But that didn’t mean it always worked.  And now?

Now this pairing, this partnership was past the first round, and Kellen could begin to feel himself fill with panic.  Like he had told the Captain, going to the gym or working out usually helped him deal with this feeling.

He hoped that he was right because he wasn’t even sure how to voice what he was feeling in words.

It just felt like an overwhelming wave of fear and worry and anxiety.  Turning after he’d gotten dressed, Kellen went back to the bedside to pick up his phone, checking it to see if anything had happened while he had been asleep.

Nothing.

Glancing over Rhys who lay in the bed still, Kellen hesitated for only a moment before he put his hand on the bed and leaned down, kissing his cheek before getting back up.  Watching him for a moment longer, Kellen eventually turned and headed downstairs, grabbing his headphones as he did so.  He was sure Brent was going to want to talk when he showed up, so he was going to need to get in some reps alone first.  ~ Kellen had been convinced that working out would have fixed everything.

Yet, even after working out for a full hour before Brent showed up, nothing changed.  Even more worry filled him because he didn’t know what it meant.

That was also a scary thought.

Kellen was usually pretty good at trusting his gut, but if his gut was screaming like this, he didn’t know what to do.  Thankfully, the chat session with Brent was kept short besides Kellen telling Brent about when and where to meet Miro for the tours, and what had happened with Casper.

Brent was actually quite impressed with the Captain and how he was being so big about sharing his Guide.  Kellen pointed out that he didn’t really have a choice, but Brent shrugged.  “It’s a big deal for someone like him, Kellen.

Most S Classes aren’t so normal in the head.

Our S Classes in this city are different then most.

Trust me on that.” Brent spoke as if Kellen had no interactions with others outside of the city, but at the same time, he wasn’t going to needle him about it either.  Brent was right.

There was a huge difference between this city’s S Classes and the rest of the world.

Kellen didn’t know why, and the S Classes themselves were also aware of it.

Kellen should be more interested, or even concerned, but he couldn’t be bothered.

His own life was busy enough, he didn’t need to worry about the rest of the world.  “I know, but it’s also me.

Do you think I would be happy if he did that?” Brent shook his head.  “No.

As much as you let him control you at home, you’re very independent in public.

We both are, which is why we’re Field Guides.

We don’t fit into the mold that everyone else wants for a Guide.” Well, it wouldn’t do well if both of them were hard on themselves today.  Kellen, gathering all of his bad feelings up inside of him, repressed everything before turning a smile towards Brent.  “And that’s a good thing.

We’re in the middle of training a bunch of those Guides into us, remember?

It’s not a bad thing Brent.

Now come spot me.” Kellen ordered, and thankfully Brent seemed to not get down on himself for the rest of their workout.  When the regulars began to trickle in, that was when Kellen knew he needed to get out of there.  “Are you going to stay a little longer?” Kellen asked the other Field Guide.

Brent nodded, checking his watch.  “I have a bit more time before my first guiding session of the day.

When’s yours?” Brent asked, a grin on his face.  “I booked three before I head out for my first drop by at one of the Guiding Centers.” Brent whistled.  “Did you tell the Captain?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows and Kellen frowned.  “He was right beside me when I booked them.” Brent’s eyes widened before he waved to Kellen as he left.  Stepping into the elevator that would take him up to his level, Kellen wondered if the Captain was still in his house, and what he would do if he was?

CREATORS’ THOUGHTS CalyB Kellen’s overwhelmed by all of his feelings.

All the good and the bad ones and they’re just turning into this giant ball of self doubt.