(BL) Hunting The Field Guide - Chapter 209

Chapter 209: A different kind of love Chapter 209: A different kind of love True to his words, the Captain didn’t let Kellen walk to the room where his Mom was waiting.

It was only a few rooms away, but was completely different from the room Kellen had woken up in.  It was more like a true waiting room, with a long window that overlooked the room next to it.

The room that was being observed looked like a classic hospital room, but had a lot more machines and monitors then what Kellen was used to.

The person in the bed had what looked like a gas mask on, and several of the machines were beeping consistently at a steady pace.

Nothing sounded like it was an alarm, which made Kellen’s shoulders relax.  It was obvious from the way his Mom was watching the bed like a hawk who was in the room.

He just didn’t know why she wasn’t allowed inside.

Was it because of the machines?

If it had been Kellen, he would have been pressed against the Captain’s side if he was recovering from an injury like that.

“Mom.” Kellen called softly after taking note that there was no one else in this waiting room.

The several comfortable looking chairs were empty, and only a single coffee cup remained on the small table tucked between two of the chairs.

It was narrow, clearly a space that people weren’t supposed to remain for a long time.

Kellen wondered if that was even her coffee cup.  She turned slowly, her face pale and gaunt.

Her eyes looked dead, the blue faded and dull.

The suit she was wearing looked like it was weirdly stiff in a few places, and Kellen had the awful realisation that it was probably stiff with blood.

His or his Dad’s, he had no idea.  “Rhys, put me down.” Kellen whispered when his Mom didn’t say anything.

The Captain only hesitated for a second before he did so, and glanced down at Kellen.

Kellen’s expression was hard, and his hands were clenched.

Rhys let out a soft sigh before placing him down on his feet.  Kellen hadn’t had to support his legs since he’d been shot and short, stabbing pain radiated from where he had been shot.

He hadn’t noticed where it was before, but now that everything had calmed down, it was very noticeable.

The spot throbbed painfully, and Kellen exhaled softly through his mouth.

He winced, his hand going to the spot that was aching painfully and Rhys stared down at him with concern.  “Are you okay?

Do you want me to help you?” He asked, and Kellen felt his chest warm.

He shook his head before turning a smile to him.

Rhys had his hands on Kellen’s waist to support him as he stood in one spot.

“No, but you can help me in a different way.” Kellen whispered, telling Rhys of his plan.

Rhys nodded, concern still on his features before he kissed Kellen’s cheek and rushed off to do what he asked.  Kellen turned his attention back to his Mom.  She had only glanced at Kellen and the Captain for a second before turning her gaze back to the man surrounded by machines.

She was holding onto her elbows, and even from where Kellen stood he could tell her grip was harsh.  “How are you holding up?” Kellen asked, pulling his leg so he didn’t put too much weight on the wound.

He had a feeling Taylor would scream at him if he reopened his wound that she had worked on closing.

Especially with everything going on right now.  “I…” She started before trailing off.

“Thank you, Kellen.” She ended up saying, and Kellen’s heart ached for his Mom.  “I would have done the same thing if it was you in front of me.” Kellen told her, and that made her look over at him again.

Her eyes were watering now and she sniffed.  “I’m so scared.” She admitted, and something broke inside of Kellen.

He pulled himself towards her, close enough that he could wrap his arms around her.

She slowly, ever so slowly, relaxed her shoulders, relaxed her arms, and hugged him back.  “It’s okay.

He made it.” She shook her head, tears pouring down her cheeks.  “I never thought it would happen to us.” She whispered.

“I watched it happen to everyone else, but I never thought it would happen to us.

We purposely took ourselves out of the limelight, took a step back.

So that people would forget about us.” She whispered.

“So that we could have you two.

Have a happy life, live the dream that Henry wanted since he was a kid.

He was so fucking happy when he found out I was pregnant with you.” She sobbed, her body shaking and her grip a little too tight on her son.  “It’s okay Mom.” Kellen said quietly, and she shook her head.  “I almost lost him.

I got too cocky.

I thought we were safe.

I should have known better.

We had everything too good for too long.

I can’t lose him, Kellen.

I can’t.

He’s my everything.” She sobbed and Kellen held his Mom as she crumbled.

He did his best not to cry, but it was hard.  No one was supposed to see their parents break like this.

Kellen couldn’t even blame her.

He was sure that his Mom had never wanted to show this side to her kids.

Even if Kellen was treated like a baby by her, his Mom had still always kept a bit of a distance from him and his sister.

He’d never taken it personally, and just assumed it was an Esper thing.

As he’d gotten older, he realised that he was right.

His Mom did love him and his sister, but his Dad was her priority.

She liked Kellen more because he was like his Dad.

He wasn’t upset by that.

Maybe he should have been, but he never felt like she didn’t love him before he became a Guide.

His Mom just…loved his Dad that much.  “We all got a little cocky.

We thought we were different from the other areas where attacks were happening.

Don’t blame just yourself, okay?

They could have targeted anyone to attack.

They probably just went after you two because you are the longest standing pair in the area.

My death wouldn’t have as big of an impact on the area, and it isn’t as if the Captain and I are imprinted.” Kellen said, and she flinched.  “Oh god.

I’m an awful parent.

You almost died too.” She pulled away, her eyes dull and blank as she looked down at her genetic copy.

Kellen’s heart ached.

“I…are you okay?

Should you be standing?

You gave a lot of blood…” She trailed off and her face fell flat.

“I…I almost lost both of you today.” She whispered and Kellen yanked her against him, hugging her again.  “We’re both here.

You lost nothing today.” Kellen comforted.

“I couldn’t lose either of you.

I’m glad that Taylor got there in time.” His Mom buried her head in his shoulder, holding him tightly.  “I do not know how Jason did it.

I never thought I’d understand so clearly how he felt when Felix was taken, but my whole heart almost left my body when I saw him lying on the ground.

Fuck.

And then there was you next to him.

I feel so bad that I was happy you were there.

That if the worst came, you at least got to be there with him.

I didn’t want him to be alone.” She sobbed.

Kellen’s own tears fell silently.

“And then I felt bad for even thinking that way.

How could I be so cruel to someone I loved so much?

And then you collapsed, but I couldn’t even care for you properly because my next fucking thought was ‘who is going to be able to give him blood now?’ God, I’m so fucking awful.” She laughed, but it was laced with so much pain and tears that Kellen hurt for her.  She was spiraling, and Kellen could feel it.

He shouldn’t be able to.  “Mom, I don’t blame you, and I’m not mad at you for feeling that way.

I know Dad is more important to you than I am.” Her body shook.  “You aren’t supposed to feel that way Kellen.” Her voice held such devastation that Kellen winced.

“You are never supposed to know that.

I’ve been the worst parent imaginable.” Kellen held her as she sobbed, hoping beyond hope that this was the way to help her.  He let her cry some more, let her shake and tremble before he continued speaking.

“I never once doubted that you loved me.” He told her, and she hiccupped, her tears coming to a halt for a second.

“It never even occurred to me to think that you didn’t love me.

I just knew you loved Dad more.

I was never upset about it then, and I’m not upset about it now.

I know he’s your lifeline, Mom, and that means you two have a different dynamic compared to a regular civilian couple.” Kellen shrugged, running his hand down her back comfortingly.

“I know if I lose one of you, the other is going to follow shortly after.” Kellen said.

His Mom shook her head.  “They always go after the Guides.

Why do they always go after the Guides?

Now, I don’t think I can let him leave the fucking house.

I can feel myself turning into a monster, Kellen.

Fuck.

I never wanted to clip his wings, but I can’t stand the idea of losing him after having him for so long.”  “I know.

I understand.” Kellen told her and she shook her head.  “How could you?

You didn’t get my fucking awful genetics.

I gave those to Gwen.” Kellen was startled.

Did she…just refer to being an Esper as awful?

Kellen had never been under the impression that she hated being an Esper until this moment.  “I understand not wanting to lose something once you’ve gotten it.” Kellen told her.

“And although it’s not quite the same, I’m always worried about the Captain.

His powers…I feel like they could consume him at any moment.” Kellen admitted to her softly.

“He…he has to reset himself every week, Mom.” She pulled back, the life slowly coming back into her eyes.  “Reset himself?

What do you mean?” Kellen hesitated, knowing that the more people who knew this, there was more of a chance that it could be a danger to Rhys.

But this was his Mom.

His Mom who needed comfort, and needed to know she wasn’t alone.  “His powers are related to time.

Rhys literally resets his insanity at least once a week.

Has been doing it since he got his powers.” She gasped.  “How in the world does he manage that?

Kellen, how do you manage that?

How do you manage the fear of him not being able to do it at some point in the future?” His Mom’s words struck a chord inside of Kellen that he hadn’t even realised he had inside of him.  “I…I haven’t worried about it till now.’ He admitted, but since she’d said the words, it now filled him with a sense of dread.

A look of pure disgust crossed her face.  “I’m awful.

I shouldn’t have brought it up.

I’m sorry Kellen.” She laughed, but the bitter sound hurt Kellen to hear.

“God, I’m fucking useless.

Can’t protect my own husband, can’t comfort my son.

Instead, I’m being comforted by him.

I don’t deserve any of you.” Kellen’s heart was breaking.  He’d never seen his Mom this down before.

She was normally full of herself, her doubts hidden deeply inside of her.

A maternal force, full of love and care for her children and her husband.

A powerful Esper who was in ‘retirement’.

Seeing her like this was killing him inside.

He had no idea what he could say to her that would comfort her.

CREATORS’ THOUGHTS CalyB Kellen’s Mom is basically having a mental breakdown.

I do feel bad for her.