(BL) Hunting The Field Guide - Chapter 337

Chapter 337: The cost of a love lost Chapter 337: The cost of a love lost Trigger warning Not explicitly mentioned, but there is discussion of suicide and will be for probably a few chapters.

If that isn’t something you want to read, please keep yourself safe.  As the hours ticked on, Kellen grew more nervous.

He hadn’t heard from Rhys, or Hill, even as the stars began to appear in the sky.

The day had ended, Kellen and everyone else had gone home.  Pamela had taken Casper home with her, deciding that she would help him get on his feet.

Casper, who was normally opinionated, and voiced his concerns for himself, had nothing to say.

It was sad to see, but at the same time…Kellen knew that the man couldn’t be alone right now.

He’d nearly lost his mind when he’d been sent to stay in his own apartment on his own, being with Pamela was for the best.  Rene, who was an outsider, pulled Kellen to the side and asked for a more detailed explanation for what happened.

Kellen did his best, without hurting either Casper or Gunther’s reputation, but Rene’s face had only gotten more severe as he continued to speak.  Rene decided that she wasn’t going to go with Pamela back to her place, but she was going to send a few things along with them.

Kellen felt that maybe he should be worried about what she would send, but she told him he should trust her.

Rene also wasn’t going to go to his parents, knowing better.  She did suggest that he tell his Father what was going on, just so that if the Guides needed to go to someone, they had three Guides to go to still.

Kellen hated that she made a good suggestion, not because he didn’t like Rene, but because she got a smug look on her face after suggesting it.  Kellen wanted to tell the woman who had decided not to join their Guild, and instead join the Nemesis Guild that she shouldn’t tell them how to run their Guild, but held his tongue.  He was worked up because Rhys was out there with Hill, doing only god knows what to try and speak to Gunther after what happened in the coffee shop.

Kellen had wanted to be there too when they had their talk, but obviously he couldn’t be.

He was worried about everyone, and so as the time ticked on, and Rhys still wasn’t home, Kellen grew more and more anxious.  He had free time, so he’d been baking at first.

He’d made the cookies he had promised what felt like forever ago because he wasn’t using the time that he normally fooled around with Rhys, so he had to do something to keep his mind off of it.  After he’d finished baking, and Rhys still wasn’t back, Kellen wasn’t sure what he should do.  He’d paced the floor, then tried to get some work done.

He didn’t want to go upstairs in case he missed when Rhys arrived, but that didn’t mean he knew what to do.

Unlike when he’d been in the conference room, he wasn’t able to focus on what he was doing.

He was just staring at the pages before him, rereading the same sentence over and over as he tried to get a grip on what he was feeling.  He wasn’t getting anywhere, his head muddled.  He then tried to read for fun, but had the same response as when he’d been trying to read for work purposes.

He tried to turn on the t.v.

to see if anything interesting was on, and realised that nothing interested him.  He just wanted Rhys home, and to know if everyone was okay.  He was worried for everyone.

Kellen couldn’t really get answers from Casper in the state he was in, and he hadn’t asked at all given that Casper just…he wasn’t ready to talk about it.

Fuck.  This was supposed to happen next week.

Rhys had started therapy, he was just getting into the groove of things, Kellen’s own therapy lessons were progressing well, at least he thought so.

Everything was almost perfect.  If Gunther hadn’t been such an Esper about-no.

He couldn’t blame him.

Gunther had sensed that something was up, he thought that he was dating Casper, and no one had changed or challenged his thoughts on that.

Anyone who hadn’t seen their partner, who they worked with, for as long as he had would have responded in a similar way.  Maybe not in the exact same way, but if Rhys and Kellen had started dating, and then he hadn’t seen Rhys for two weeks… Huh.  Guess they weren’t too far away from how Casper and Gunther had behaved.

They had kind of made it everyone else’s problem too.  The story didn’t completely align, but it made Kellen feel even more sympathy for the non couple.

Kellen and Rhys hadn’t been…dating, but they had been separated for a while.

Kellen had hated it, and had basically crumbled from the lack of contact.  Damn it, he understood Gunther’s actions even more now.  The lock to the door turned, and Kellen sat up from where he had been slumped on the couch.

He perked up, waiting to see if it was Rhys who entered, and if he was alone.  Rhys pushed open the door, his clothes ruffled, his face…battered and he closed the door behind him, seemingly not noticing that Kellen was staring a hole through him and closed his eyes, leaning against it.  He looked exhausted, worn.

Kellen’s heart hurt for the man.

This couldn’t be easy for him, and Kellen just wanted to comfort everyone.

He was sure it was part of his Guide instincts, but at the same time, he just genuinely hated that the people he cared about, the people Rhys cared about were going through such a hard time.  Kellen got to his feet, approaching the other man and Rhys’ eyes opened slowly.

He looked at Kellen, his gaze haunted, before his lips turned up slightly.  “We got to him in time.” A shiver ran down Kellen’s spine.

He really, truly hoped that Rhys’ words didn’t mean what he thought they meant.  Upon closer inspection, Rhys’ whole outfit was in complete disarray.

One of his shoes had his toes poking through, and he was missing strings, buttons, everything from his clothes.

Kellen frowned.  “How hard did you two fight?” Kellen asked and Rhys let out a dry laugh.  “I let him get it all out.

All the anger, rage, confusion, everything.

It was…it was the best outcome.” Rhys nearly choked on the words, closing his eyes as his lips twitched.

Kellen moved, wrapping his arms around his waist, holding him close.

Rhys closed his hands around Kellen’s waist in turn, dropping his head into his shoulder.

“He truly doesn’t see a life without Casper.

I don’t know what to do, Kellen.

I don’t know what to do.

If he can’t be with him…” Rhys exhaled.

“I couldn’t see anything.

There was practically nothing.” Rhys gripped Kellen tightly, and Kellen swallowed.  He didn’t know what it was like to see the future.

He’d never had that ability, but he could tell that Rhys was deeply shaken by what he had, or hadn’t, witnessed.  Kellen knew what he was saying.

Gunther had seen his life, his future with Casper.

Without him, without Casper, he didn’t know what to do.

He was spiraling, the thing that Kellen had wanted to avoid.

Rhys, after seeing that, had chosen the future where Gunther lived.  “Is he alone?” Kellen asked, and Rhys shook his head, exhaling slowly, trying to control his emotions.  “No.

Hill is with him.

I also called Miro.

Miro is really close with him, so he’ll keep an eye on him.” Kellen nodded, not surprised that the two elemental Espers were close.  “How did Miro get here so quickly?” Kellen asked and Rhys chuckled, giving him another squeeze.  “Miro said he’d felt something from his plants.

They said something was wrong, so he was already half way from the Front Lines when I called.

He met us…at the cliff.” Kellen felt his blood drain from his face, but he held Rhys tighter.

He didn’t know what that meant, but he knew damn well that Gunther wasn’t a Wind Esper.  “We got him, Rhys.” Kellen told him.

He hesitated.

“Were…Were you able to speak to him?” Kellen asked and Rhys let out that same, dry and bitter laugh.  “Talk?

He almost ripped my lips off for even trying.

I don’t…he won’t listen to me.” He sounded defeated, and Kellen sighed.

His chest hurt, his eyes warm as he held onto the other man.  “We won’t let him do what he wants.” Kellen told him forcefully and Rhys hugged him tighter.  “Can we stop him?

He’s a fucking Lieutenant, Kellen.

He’s smart, always has been.

He fucking planned everything under our noses.

We thought everything was fine, and look at what happened?

He’s a damn predator with no will to live.

I don’t think he’d go after Casper, really, I don’t, he would just…take himself out of the equation first.” Rhys sounded like he was choking on those words.  “He’s not into…” Kellen trailed off, and Rhys exhaled shakily.  “He wouldn’t.

It’s the one future I never saw.

It was never Casper, and then him.

It was just…him.” Rhys exhaled.

“Fuck.

I never want to see it again.” Rhys admitted and Kellen wanted to hold him tighter, comfort him more.

Rhys sounded like he was breaking, but that he also knew that he couldn’t.

It was hard to hear.  “Come.

Let’s go to bed and you can hold me there.” Kellen murmured, running his fingers up and down Rhys’ lower back.

Rhys stilled, before he let out another slow exhale.  “Can I bury my face in your tits?” Rhys asked and Kellen chuckled.  “Of course.” Kellen agreed easily.

If it was something like that which calmed him down, he’d easily do it.

Rhys squeezed him before pushing him back slightly, taking Kellen’s hand in his.

He raised his hand to his lips, his eyes full of pain.

His lips against Kellen’s skin burned, and Kellen had to swallow.  “Thank you.

Thank you for waiting up for me.

I don’t think I could get through this without you by my side.” Rhys admitted and Kellen gave him a smile.

He was sure it was a little off, since he was also feeling a lot of emotions.  “We’re in this together.

We’ll figure this out.” Kellen told him firmly, meaning it.

Rhys exhaled slowly, his gaze going over the Guide before him.  “We are, aren’t we?” He replied, before he tugged Kellen up the stairs to do as Kellen offered.

CREATORS’ THOUGHTS CalyB Rhys trying to be the bigger guy, not showing how much it must have torn him up to see Gunther, over and over, killing himself?

Fuck man.

I feel for him.