(BL) Hunting The Field Guide - Chapter 393

Chapter 393: A startling, upsetting realisation
Kellen and Rhys didn’t have to wait for long. It was only a few short moments later when Rhys jerked, and then opened the back door and Kellen couldn’t see, but he could hear some shuffling behind him. It wasn’t until the door was closed behind them, by an invisible hand, that the two people in the backseat revealed themselves.

Rhys was climbing back into the front passenger seat when Kellen felt two hands on his shoulders, giving him a squeeze.

“My sweet boy. You seem well. You look good. I’ll need to get a better look at you when we’re back at the Guild.” His Mom said, her eyes sparkling as she looked over her son. Kellen smiled at them, turning to scan them in the same way they were scanning him.

“You seem alright. Dad? How are you doing?” Kellen turned, scanning his Dad who was sitting behind him. He was the one who had put his hand on Kellen’s shoulder, since his Mom was behind Rhys. His Dad looked…thoughtful. Contemplative.

It wasn’t an unusual look for him to have, but there was something concerning about it. Kellen couldn’t put his finger on it, but thankfully, his Dad didn’t let him wonder for too long.

“Another of our friends died while we were abroad. The E.A.G.” Silence filled the body of the car as Kellen felt his eyes widen. He hadn’t heard of another attack, and when Kellen glanced at Rhys, he seemed contemplative as well. Then, his gaze widened.

“I had no idea. I’m so sorry.” Kellen glanced between everyone, feeling out of the loop.

“Who? Who was it?” Kellen asked and his parents shared a look.

“It was Aunt Dina’s partner. Her Guide.” Kellen felt a deep pang of sadness.

“Aunt Dina? Wouldn’t it have been everywhere if that was the case? They aren’t exactly known for keeping things to themselves.” Kellen could feel that his hands had begun to shake. He was glad, in a sick way, that it wasn’t two deaths he had heard about.

His Aunt Dina wasn’t a blood-related Aunt. She was one of his Dad’s friends from when he had been on active duty before he met his Mom. She, unlike most Espers, never wanted to imprint. Thought it was too much work. So she had changed partners over time, all of them pretty women who had satisfied her with their guiding. They had all been good people, but she had been with the last one for at least 7 years. Marriage had been discussed, but clearly…

Kellen felt awful that he even had a good thought about this. His Aunt Dina must be beside herself right now.

“Well, you know your Aunt. She likes to keep to herself. You should call her though, and let her know that you know. She’s grieving right now, but she’s going to fly off the handle soon. She heard about the attempt against us, and then they took her Guide away from her? The whole country is going to burn.” Kellen’s Mom sounded sad, and amused at the same time. It was a very serious statement.

Kellen’s Aunt was a Fire Esper. A very powerful, should have been S Class, Fire Esper. She had to be off from being an S Class by just a few marks. She didn’t have the crazies like most S Classes, but that was made up with the fact that she was a Fire Esper. Always quick to light a fire, to make everything burn.

“Were they really thinking when they decided to go after Aunt Dina? She’ll kill them all.” Kellen muttered, as he began to shift into gear and get out of here. Rhys reached over, placing his hand on Kellen’s thigh again for comfort.

“Well, that’s the point I think. They wanted her to burn civilians at the same time. Get lost in her grief and rage. They didn’t know that she would have us there to support her through some of her grief. That was the reason we weren’t back as soon as we were done.” Kellen’s Dad said, reaching and giving Kellen’s shoulders a squeeze. “Are you okay, sweetheart? I know you were close to your Aunt Dina.” His Dad’s comfort was appreciated. Kellen hadn’t been able to say goodbye to his Uncles, so he was grateful that she was still well.

“I’ll have to call her in the morning. I just…I can’t believe these assholes. One after another. They aren’t going to be satisfied until everyone I care about is dead.” Kellen muttered grimly. “This is getting very personal.” Kellen was sure he was in a terrible mood right now, but Rhys gave his thigh a squeeze.

“They aren’t getting you again. You’re safe, or so help me, your Aunt Dina is going to look like child’s play. Do you think anyone in the Guild will sit still if you get hurt? Or anyone else in your family?” Kellen knew what he was trying to do, but this was only fueling a side of him that Kellen didn’t realise he had.

He was glad that he hadn’t lost Aunt Dina. He was glad that even though one person had passed, it hadn’t been a two for one deal. Like his parents. Like his uncles. Like other family friends over the decades.

Kellen’s throat worked as he came to a shocking realisation.

He didn’t want to imprint with Rhys.

He had thought that it was a natural thing when they had first found out the compatibility. It was foolish to imprint right away since the body needed time to adjust to each other so that the other person didn’t die from guiding the other, but now? So much had happened.

Their bodies were relatively compatible now. He didn’t feel weak, or lose a huge chunk of his body mass when they did guiding above hand holding. He wasn’t afraid that if they had sex the whole way, Kellen would fade away into nothing if he accidentally guided him during the process.

Then, you add in the attacks, the gate, the fact that Kellen was a teacher for Field Guides. A Field Guide was useless if they could only guide one person. They were meant to be an emergency food ration for the Espers, and Kellen had no problem with that. Rhys had even said he had no problem with that. He had said that he didn’t want to change Kellen, but at the same time…

Was there a part of Rhys that wanted Kellen to imprint with him? Had he thought like Kellen? That it would just happen, eventually?

Kellen rolled to a stop at a red light, swallowing thickly. His eyes began to well with tears as he thought back to what had happened with his Dad. He’d almost lost both of his parents because they were imprinted. He didn’t want to lose either of them, but to lose them both at the same time?

He supposed that he had always known that was going to be the way it was going to happen. He had even told himself that it was selfish of him to be upset about it, and had pushed his true feelings on the issue aside, but with his new therapy starting up, and having to literally come face to face with it…

Kellen’s thoughts had changed.

While it was great that they, the imprinted pair, didn’t have to live long without their partner, Kellen hated that it left everyone else behind without closure, without two people. He had a big heart. He didn’t like punching two holes into it every time he heard about some fucking terrorist who was trying to tear the world apart when it had barely begun to repair itself.

He knew that he wanted to know if Rhys passed. He knew that he wanted to know if he was in danger, which was a plus from the imprinting, but…Kellen didn’t…he didn’t want to become Rhys’ weakness like that. He knew he was strong. He knew he was brave, and fast, and everything in between.

But he didn’t have super powers like the Espers. He was a Guide. His powers weren’t flashy. They were subtle, and you couldn’t use subtle powers against a gun.

Kellen was shaking as he came to this realisation. He didn’t think he would ever change his mind on imprinting. It was a part of his perfect partner plan, but having lived with his perfect partner, he didn’t think he could ever go through with it. It felt too selfish, too cruel. He didn’t want to be the thing that took Rhys’ life away.

He knew that Guides were a weak link when it came to Espers. They had been throwing fits, destroying cities over Guides dying for decades, ever since Guides were found to exist. They were trying to protect them, trying to keep them safe, but the E.A.G. weren’t new. There had always been a group around that hated them and targeted them.

The. E.A.G. were just the new face. A more dangerous face, but still. Kellen felt like his heart was being squeezed tightly in his chest, and he didn’t realise he was crying until Rhys’ fingers touched his cheeks, wiping them away.

“Sugar. Do you want me to drive? You look unwell.” Rhys murmured and Kellen shook himself. He needed to keep himself together. He needed to compose himself. Rhys didn’t know his feelings on this, and hopefully, Kellen would have some more time before they would need to discuss it. Kellen felt like a part of him, a part he’d had since childhood had just shattered. He needed some time to repair himself from that damage.

He didn’t want to approach Rhys with these splintered pieces of himself. He knew that Rhys wouldn’t mind, but he didn’t want to hurt Rhys with these pieces. He didn’t want Rhys to come out of the interaction upset, or angry. He would allow sad, but he didn’t want to hurt him.

He was going to be Rhys’ family, even without an imprint mark. He just…he needed to figure out for himself what that meant.