(BL) Hunting The Field Guide - Chapter 398

Chapter 398: We need to talk

Kellen fully expected that Casper was going to run away as everything was winding down. He didn’t expect him to linger. He didn’t want him to. Kellen was done for the night and wanted to head home to his apartment, get out of the Field Guide outfit, and maybe drink some tea and go to bed. He’d had a long day, and he wasn’t sure if his parents weren’t going to stop by after they caught up on sleep.

So, when Casper lingered after the last of the stragglers left, Kellen was quite surprised. He looked awkward, unsure. Kellen wasn’t sure how to approach this.

“Casper? Is something the matter? Did you have another matter to discuss with me?” Kellen asked and Casper sighed.

“Yeah. I do. Can we…talk somewhere private?” He asked and that really had Kellen worried. What was it that he wanted to speak in private? Was it something terrible? It had Kellen worried, and he nodded.

“How about the apartment? Is that okay?” Casper relaxed, nodding at Kellen’s suggestion. He was holding onto his tablet in front of his body like a shield, his shoulders tense. He was wearing his long white coat like normal, but he seemed…tired. Kellen knew what that was like. Casper had always had a lot on his plate, and when Kellen had benched him and had taken over his duties, he understood why.

Maybe…they should hire him an assistant? Someone who could take on the workload that wasn’t as crucial for Casper to handle? Would that be a bad idea, and if it wasn’t, how would Casper handle the idea?

Kellen didn’t think he would take it well. There was just something inside of him that Casper would think they were replacing him, when that wasn’t the case at all. Kellen just wanted to make sure the man wasn’t working himself to the bone. Like he was trying to do with Rhys, but he had a feeling he was failing miserably.

Granted, this wasn’t a normal situation, but also, as a Guild they should have policies and plans in place to make sure that in unusual circumstances, no one burnt out. That nothing like what had been happening to Gunther, Rhys, Casper, Hill, Pamela and Taylor didn’t happen. God, they were all control freaks. Kellen knew he was making a tall ask of them trying to delegate their workload.

He should consult his Dad about this once he was more rested. His Dad had managed to do that with his Mom, and they had both been active in helping with the Guild. They might know where to pull and poke.

His head filled with his own thoughts, Kellen led the way to the elevator with Casper at his side. Casper didn’t speak, clearly able to tell that Kellen had his own thoughts going through his head. That didn’t mean that Kellen couldn’t feel his gaze on him.

When they arrived at the mid level point, the gym, Kellen had to stop and chat with a few of the new recruit Espers that were in Gwen’s class. He sometimes saw them in the gym when he was there in the morning, and they were part of the groups that he and Brent had been keeping an eye on after the Guide incident.

They were happy to chat with him, check in with him, before they said goodbye, going their own way. Gwen wasn’t in sight, but Kellen found out she was out with a few friends for dinner that night. Casper remained beside Kellen, participating in the conversation but it was clear that he wanted to keep moving.

Kellen didn’t stay long, leaving quickly. He apologised to Casper, but Casper brushed it off. Casper told him it was fine. As the partner of the Captain of the Guild, he was totally allowed, no, expected to check in with the members of the Guild. Kellen didn’t like that response, but he understood why Casper said it.

Kellen kept his thoughts to himself about the issue, since it wasn’t like Casper was wrong. That wasn’t why Kellen was doing it, but he didn’t need to get into an argument with the man over his intentions. Did he think it would get to an argument level? No. But they were already on their way somewhere private to have a conversation. He didn’t want to provoke the man and then they didn’t even get to the apartment to talk.

Kellen got out of the elevator first, making his way towards the apartment with Casper in tow. It felt strange, this tension between them. Kellen didn’t like it, but friendships were two way streets. He was learning this. It was a tough thing for him to wrap his head around, since by his nature he just wanted to get along with everyone and help everyone.

It was how he ended up hurt in the first place. Yes, he knew that what his ‘friends’ had done was far worse, and terrible, but through therapy Kellen was coming to understand that he had noticed that their relationships were transactional, but Kellen just hadn’t wanted to see the signs.

He was taken advantage of, but he needed to acknowledge he held some blame. His therapist didn’t like his approach, he could see it in their face when they spoke on the issue, but Kellen was so full of conviction when it came to his point that they just dropped it and let him speak. They let Kellen speak in circles, and then would add a point.

Kellen knew what they were doing, knew that they were trying to unwind the strings and wires that had gotten crossed, and it hurt the more they poked. Kellen didn’t like it, but knew that even if the process hurt during, the results were good.

After all, he was able to forgive Uncle Tom for his peace of mind and was able to continue on with his life. In fact, he barely cared about the man even if the others, like Rhys and Sakura were pissed at him. Kellen had gotten over the hurt he had caused, and that was a big thing for him.

All of this was to say that Kellen was a bit nervous as he unlocked his door, holding it open for Casper as he took off his boots and put them in their place.

“Did you want some tea, Casper?” Kellen asked as Casper closed the door behind him, locking it out of habit. Casper seemed just as nervous as Kellen.

“That would be nice.” Casper replied, and Kellen headed to the kitchen. He started the kettle, listening to the sound of Casper taking his sweet time taking off his shoes. Kellen knew he was also awkward, and that was fine, but there was nothing else going on in the apartment.

After the water had boiled, the tea leaves were steeped, and the tea mugs were in hand, the two of them went over to the couch, sat down, and there was another, even more awkward silence.

“Uh, what was it that you wanted to talk about, Casper?” Kellen started, putting his mug down on the coffee table. Both men were still in their work clothes, and Kellen wanted to change but knew it would be rude to make Casper wait any longer. Casper shifted, sighing, before finally he spoke up.

“I…I wanted to talk to you about Theodore.” That was a surprise to Kellen.

Who the hell was Theodore?

“Pardon?” Kellen asked and Casper smirked.

“I mean Gunther, Kellen. I…I heard that you were the one who nominated him to go undercover.” Casper swallowed. “That you were the one who suggested that he leave the Guild.” Kellen’s eyes widened.

“What? No, I would never do that. He’s Rhys’ best friend. I would never do such a thing. Yes, I thought that he would be the best for the position right now, and he has been doing a good job, but I never wanted him to leave the Guild permanently.” Casper swallowed. His hands were on his lap, clenched tightly into fists as he refused to make eye contact with Kellen. He was staring at the coffee table, probably counting the grains like Kellen once had when he’d been having a conversation with Rhys in the past.

“Are you sure? You weren’t doing it because you thought he was going to be a problem?” Casper asked quietly. Kellen felt legitimately stunned. Sure, Gunther was a problem, but he was their problem. He belonged to the Saturn Guild. Hell, the whole reason he suggested that he go away was so that he could take some time to cool his head and realise that he belonged here. They both did.

If they figured out this complicated relationship that they both had, they could remain here. A part of what Rhys had built. Kellen just knew that having Gunther locked up inside of the Guild that he had helped build was probably hurting him more than helping him. Plus, that E.A.G. asshole had tried to look like Gunther. It only seemed fair that they give them what they wanted, but without Gunther actually turning his back on them.

Kellen sighed, rubbing both hands over his face.

“Casper, even if Gunther is a problem, sorry, Theodore, that’s not my concern. I don’t care if he’s a problem.” Casper flinched. Kellen frowned, feeling like the man was jumping to conclusions, so Kellen had to make himself clear. “My concern is about whether he’s going to be able to come back from all of the trauma that his parents caused him. He can be as much of a problem as he wants. Hell, he should be more of a problem.” That seemed to surprise Casper.

“What?” He asked, finally looking at Kellen, and Kellen’s grim expression didn’t shift.

“I think all of you Saturn Guild people have been too nice. Too pleasant. Even Sakura’s and Sergei’s people are a little more rough around the edges. You try to make yourself so presentable, so marketable. I know part of it is because Pamela wants the Saturn Guild to have a good image, and Rhys is at a disadvantage because of it, but I just…” Kellen trailed off, shaking his head. “Cause more problems. Be bigger issues. Even when Rhys was upset with the D.E.C. he was sneaky about his rebellion. My Mom literally attempted to blow the whole building up. Boom! Very in the face action.” Casper blinked.

“What?” He repeated, even more confused and Kellen huffed.

“You are all so damn well behaved! Why am I your biggest scandal? I’m well behaved by everyone else’s standards. Why are your A Class Espers tiptoeing around about their feelings? Why are our lieutenants so calm, collected, composed? Make bigger problems, bigger messes! I want our people to think that we’ll have their backs no matter what, but it starts from the top! All of you have your issues, your problems, but damn it, you keep it all hidden!” Kellen didn’t know where he was going with this.

He was just…emotional. And honestly, he wasn’t wrong for his rant. He was right. Everyone knew that Hill slept around, but she never got caught. She was never on the newspaper front page. She wasn’t being spoken about on the news. Rhys had a squeaky clean image until Kellen came around.

Yes, Pamela was busy, but she was busy creating connections. He wasn’t even sure she had ever had to call a paper to get them to not cover a story, or that she had to do press conferences for any of the other A Class Espers. Let alone Guides.

Casper sat in shock.

“Bigger messes? Pamela already has her hands full on her own.” Casper said quietly. “I don’t want to cause my friend more stress.” Kellen huffed.

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” He said sharply, and Casper flinched. “I’m not saying to do it maliciously, I’m just saying…I don’t care about Theodore making a mess. That’s not even on my radar. I just want him to get better.” Casper swallowed.

“So you sent him into a terrorist organisation? To get better?” Yeah, okay. Kellen would admit, that did sound bad. Maybe…there was a solid reason why Casper was asking this question.