Devilish secretary - Chapter 265

Chapter 265: Chapter 265 If I Disappear…
“I missed you…”

His voice was quiet, muffled against her skin as he hugged her from behind.

He buried his face in the curve of her neck, his arms wrapping around her tightly like if he let go, she might vanish.

He gently pulled her long black hair to one side and pressed a soft kiss on her neck, breathing her in slowly, like he needed her scent to calm the storm inside him.

Lilith closed her eyes and melted into him, letting his warmth cover her. She could feel something was off—his grip was tighter, more desperate.

She turned around, meeting his eyes, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

“You okay now?” she asked softly, rubbing the back of his head with her fingers, comforting him.

He didn’t answer.

He just held her again, silently.

“Human doll…” she whispered, feeling the tension still sitting heavy in his chest. “What’s wrong?”

He didn’t speak.

Instead, he kissed her cheek.

Then her jaw.

Then her forehead.

Like he was trying to find peace in her skin.

Still quiet. Still holding her like he was afraid to speak.

Lilith gently cupped his cheeks, making him look at her. Her eyes didn’t demand, they understood.

“Tell me,” she said softly, her thumb stroking the sharp edge of his jaw.

For a moment, Gray just looked at her.

Then… finally…

his voice broke through, low and raw.

“Everything’s fine now…” he murmured, almost to himself.

“So why… why do I feel like I’m melting away? Like I’m disappearing…”

Lilith froze slightly, her eyes locked on his.

Gray’s expression was calm but his eyes were full of storm.

A deep, flickering pain.

“I don’t want to disappear, Lilith,” he whispered.

“I also want to live… I want to stay.”

His voice cracked just enough for her to feel it in her heart.

“It’s been so long since I had control,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

“And now that I do… I’m scared.”

He looked away, eyes dulling.

“Scared of slipping again. Of fading. Of becoming a memory inside someone else’s head.”

A pause.

Then, quietly—

“I get jealous of Alexander… of Ray… even Darkness.

They’re all so… clear. They have their place.

And me…?”

He looked back at her slowly, the pain raw in his chest.

“I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

Lilith didn’t say anything.

She just pulled him back into her arms, holding him like he was breakable.

Because in that moment—

he wasn’t the calm, calculated Gray. He was just a boy inside a storm, fighting to stay.

His eyes usually so calm, so mysterious, so calculating…now burned with a kind of desperate ache.

Without saying a word, Gray gently lifted Lilith and sat her down on the edge of the bed.

Then slowly, quietly he knelt in front of her like a man on the edge of something terrifying.

He took both her hands in his, gripping them tightly—too tightly. His lips pressed to her knuckles, trembling slightly.

Then he looked up at her,

and for the first time…

his mask cracked completely.

“Tell me, Lilith,” he whispered, voice barely steady. “If you had to choose one of us… who would it be?”

His question cut through the room like cold steel.

Lilith’s eyes widened slightly—but she couldn’t speak.

His fingers tightened on hers, and his voice dropped lower, more unstable.

“Would it be Alexander? Calm, respected, responsible Alexander…”

His mouth twisted into something bitter.

“He also makes the best decisions, right? He fits this world.”

Gray’s eyes glimmered with something dangerous—

not anger.

Abandonment.

“And Ray… he makes people laugh. He’s soft. People love soft things.”

His grip turned almost desperate now.

He looked at her like she was the only thing left tethering him to this world.

“I was made for a purpose,” he said hoarsely. “To fix, to protect, to balance things.

And now… now that the chaos is calming, I feel it.

The shift. The distance.

Like I’m not needed anymore.”

He let go of her hand suddenly, dropping his head into her lap, forehead resting against her legs. His shoulders trembled—not from tears, but from something far darker.

“I see it,” he whispered.

“How they forget me. How I fade into the silence of the background. Like I’m just a tool Something sharp you only reach for when everything breaks.”

Lilith placed her trembling hand on his head, but he gripped her wrist tightly.

“No—don’t pity me,” he rasped.

“Don’t lie to me.”

His voice turned bitter.

Soft. Cold. Cracking.

“Because if I disappear again… I swear, Lilith—I won’t let anyone else take over this time.

If I vanish… I’ll make sure they vanish too.”

His words didn’t just fall into the silence.

They pierced it.

Like rusted needles pushing through soft skin—slow, merciless.

And for the first time…

Lilith’s soul trembled.

Not from fear.

But from the depth of something far darker—

something she hadn’t expected from him.

Gray lifted his face from her lap and when he looked up at her,

his eyes weren’t just hurting—

They were splintering.

There was something unstable in them something too still, too controlled, like a man standing perfectly still on the edge of a cliff with the full intention of jumping.

“They don’t need me anymore,” he said slowly, almost tenderly.

“That’s what happens to creations, right? You use them.

You polish them. You keep them sharp until you don’t need them.”

He reached up and gently placed a hand over her chest, right above her heart.

“Even you… you look at me sometimes like I’m just the pause between the others.”

Lilith’s eyes widened slightly, but she didn’t speak.

She couldn’t.

Something inside him was unraveling, thread by quiet thread.

“Do you know what it’s like,” he whispered, “to exist only in emergencies? To be summoned when there’s blood, fire, ruin and then pushed back into the dark the moment peace returns?”

He tilted his head slightly, smiling softly but there was no warmth in it.

“I envy Alexander. His calm. His place. I envy Ray… his light. His childish freedom.”

A bitter chuckle escaped him.

“Even Darkness has purpose. Rage. Power. Fear.”

He leaned closer too close.

Close enough she could see every crack in his composure.

“And me?” he breathed.

“I’m the glitch between their perfection. The leftover calculation. The part no one planned for.”

Lilith’s throat tightened. She had seen cruelty, evil, manipulation but this was the quiet agony of being forgotten.

“So if I disappear, Lilith…” he said, eyes burning now—

“I won’t go alone.”