Dreamwalker's Bride - Chapter 94

Chapter 94: Recovery is difficult
It was two days before Anaisa left her room again. The hurt and betrayal she felt was a thorn in her heart. She was a coward, and hiding. She could admit that much to herself, even if she let others just think the poison was difficult to recover from. It was. The doctor continued giving her his concoctions.

Anaisa tossed and turned in the night, constantly waking and falling back into her nightmares. They were terrible. Was it the medication? Was it the poison? She didn’t know, but she missed the pleasant dreams she’d had for so long.

The dreams, she reluctantly admitted, that Trace had been manipulating.

She shouldn’t want them. She should be glad his interference stopped. Or had it? Maybe he was the one orchestrating these foul visions. To make her grateful for him. She should hate him for all of it.

A pang of remorse accompanied the cruel thought. Though he had betrayed her trust, he still wasn’t a man like her father, who would use any means to get ahead. Was he?

Her stomach roiled. This was getting nowhere. She fell back into a light doze out of exhaustion and medication but rose again before first light.

She was sick of being in her room. She couldn’t stay here forever. Anaisa rose and dressed in her simple servant’s uniform. Maybe there were some steamed buns or something she could eat in the main chamber. The doctor’s broth was tiresome, and she was past ready for solid food now.

She opened her door only slightly, and slipped out into the main room. Her eyes adjusted slowly, and she was thankful for once that the princess insisted on there being some light around while she slept.

There was a table in the corner by the window that usually held snacks of various kinds. She tiptoed her way over to it as her stomach gurgled loudly. Freezing, she listened to the oddly silent room.

Several seconds went by as she realized she couldn’t hear Trace’s deep breathing. She’d grown used to the sound, sleeping in the same room during the early days of their marriage. He obviously wasn’t asleep now.

“Trace?” She whispered breathlessly.

“What do you need?” He spoke, much closer than she expected, and she yelped lightly.

“I came out for a snack,” Anaisa turned toward him in the darkness, a little defensively.

“I’m not sure the doctor approved that.” She could hear the frown in his voice.

“Well you’re not in charge of me, and I’m hungry,” Anaisa tilted her chin up.

He paused, and turned away, picking up a candle to light it from the dimly burning lamp. The contours of his face were thrown into sharp relief by the flickering flame.

“Please start with something plain and easy on the stomach,” There was a pain in his eyes that prodded at her heart, but she resisted giving in to their lure. She was mad at him. Furious!

“I was planning on a steamed bun,” She pursed her lips and said tightly, “but I don’t see any.”

“How about some simple bread?” He leaned around her and picked up a plate covered by a cheese cloth. “I put some aside at dinner for you, just in case.”

Anaisa frowned, trying to be annoyed at his thoughtfulness.

“Thank you,” She replied curtly, taking it and sitting on the sofa. He hesitated a moment, then slowly sat down beside her.

She scooted away slightly as his weight on the sofa tilted her closer to him.

“How are you feeling?” Trace looked her up and down. He looked exhausted. “I’m glad you’re up and about.”

“Better, now,” She sighed. Being mad at him was taking more effort than she thought, especially when his eyes looked so haunted. “That was awful.”

“Did you… sleep all right?” His question was tentative.

“No, that was awful, too,” She admitted. “The nightmares, and the pain.”

“I’m sorry,” He lifted his eyes to hers. The words held double meaning, and she tried to remain firm.

“You should be. I’m sure it’s your fault,” She tore off a piece of bread and popped it into her mouth.

“Mine?” He seemed confused by her accusation, then horrified, “No, Anaisa, I didn’t–”

“I’m sure you control all dreams, everywhere, all the time,” She baited, trying to gauge the true extent of his powers with her sarcasm.

“You grossly overestimate my capabilities.” He told her softly. “I can only be one place at a time, and I’m not particularly powerful.”

“Powerful enough to manipulate. To be of use to someone evil.” Anaisa paused with a bite halfway to her mouth. The taste made her want to eat a lot more, but her stomach urged patience and caution.

“I’m sorry. I never wanted that.” He paused. “I’ll tell you whatever I can. I promise. No secrets except those I absolutely cannot tell.”

“What kind of promise is that?” She accused, regaining a little energy to berate him. “It means nothing to say you’ll tell me everything except what you can’t.”

He shifted slightly, turning towards her. “I want to tell you absolutely everything. I would if I could.”

“You can,” Anaisa rolled her eyes. “You open your mouth and say words. It’s not terribly difficult to be honest about things.”

She was fully cognizant of her hypocrisy. The last of her secrets, she’d only told him because she didn’t know it was the real Trace in the dream with her. She’d kept plenty from him this whole time. He didn’t call her out on the double standard, but she felt the press of it.

At least she hadn’t invaded his mind to get his secrets. Though if she’d had access to the power, could she honestly say she wouldn’t have used it to get to know the stranger she’d married?

She sat back against the cushions, a little tired from eating.

“It’s complicated.” Trace sighed. “Do you… do you at least trust that I’m doing my best to act in pursuit of our common interests?”

“Do we have any?” Anaisa looked at him frankly. “I’m not sure.”

“Yes. You may not see it, but we do.” Trace leaned toward her slightly. “Please, trust me that even though I can’t tell you everything, yet, I’m not going to lie to you.”

Anaisa cut him a skeptical glance.

“Isn’t it lying to pretend you’re not real?” She challenged. He frowned as he caught her meaning.

“I’ve never tried to convince anyone it was me before. It was more difficult than I thought. I should have done a lot of things differently. And I should have started trying a lot sooner.”

Anaisa’s brow furrowed. She did remember him saying odd phrases about it being his dream, and showing her things he could do. She had been the one who hushed him. With a deep breath, she blurted out the question that had been plaguing her for the two days she’d hidden from it.

“Why did you kiss me?”