Escaped My Ex, Got Snatched by His Rival - Chapter 442

Chapter 442: Altered memories
“Do you want to become my girlfriend?” Nicolai dropped the bomb while the two of them were spooning in the bed, causing Ariana to stiffen.

It wasn’t as if she didn’t know that this was going to happen. In fact, Ari knew and had sensed from a mile away that Nicolai was going to ask her this someday.

She just never thought that it would be this soon.

“I need to use the restroom,” Ariana sat up straight in the bed, she tried to avoid the panic that was rising in her heart but she couldn’t.

Her breathing turned shallow and the familiar fear climbed up her spine. What if she let him down? What if she hurt him? What would others who had expected better from her say if she told them she was with him?

All kinds of thoughts flooded her head causing Ari to exhale heavily,

Nicolai let her get up, he propped himself on an elbow and looked at her before asking, “Are you going to give your answer to the shower head?”

“What do you mean?” Ariana faced away from him, she seemed distracted and confused while looking at the walls and furniture inside his room, something she had seen countless times.

Nicolai pushed himself on the bed and with a harsh note in his voice repeated, “I asked you whether or not you want to be in a relationship with me, Ari. You fucking heard me don’t act like you didn’t.”

“… I thought that this was all physical?” She fired back.

Fuck him sideways. He could not believe it, just a second ago she was pliant against him, letting him fuck her as if the two of them were more than just friends with benefits.

Not to forget she had shown immense jealousy for someone who just wanted to keep things physical.

And now all of a sudden she wanted to draw the line again?

Not fucking happening.

“So, you mean to say that I can look for anyone else in case you are not available?” Nicolai narrowed his eyes and questioned. He was not going to let her leave without getting a motherfucking title tonight.

And no sooner did he say those words, than she wheeled around to look at him. A fire burned in her eyes as she snarled, “Don’t even think about it.”

“Really? I don’t know whether someone told you or not this is what we call being in a relationship,” Nicolai snapped. He pulled his leg back and raised his knee such that his arm could rest on it. He said to her, “Is that too damn hard for you to admit that you want me enough to be fucking exclusive with me?”

“You are ashamed of having me as your partner?”

“That’s not what this is!” Ari stated in a cold voice as if he was making trouble.

Like hell he was.

“Then how is it? Tell me,” Nicolai stated. He pushed his body close to her and with an unusually stern expression said, “I am not a motherfucking mind reader, Pallas. You gotta tell me the problem here. Why is it that you are fine with staying with me but not giving this relationship of ours a name?”

“Because it’s…” Ariana raised her voice but two seconds later she lowered her voice. She sighed—however, this time around she did not lock him away.

Instead, she gave him a little peak in her complicated thoughts.

She closed her eyes and said, “It is me. All my life— people had these expectations from me… wanting me to excel and never falter.”

“To never let them down. I was told the reason they stay with me is because… I show them the side that they want,” she mockingly smiled as she continued, “Oh look at her, she is the top scorer. Or that she is too graceful and elegant— a caretaker and a kind woman, that’s how everyone sees me.”

“Now imagine how they will react if they realise that I am not as kind as they think I am.. that I am not as graceful and caring? Not normal like them.” She glanced up at him and added, “You have to admit that no normal woman would agree to be in a relationship with you.”

And as much as Nicolai would have loved to refute her, he couldn’t because she was right.

She smiled at Nicolai who looked absolutely bewildered by her words, and Ariana did not blame him. “You can be yourself because people love and support you, Nicolai. They don’t care about what you do.. but what about me? You saw how everyone reacted when you tried to get close to me.”

“They have certain expectations from me which they hope that I will fulfil.”

“I am afraid that they will leave me behind if they find out that I am nothing like what they expected me from.”

“And it’s important because?” Nicolai couldn’t see where Ari was going. Because he honestly did not give to flying fucks about what others thought, so he didn’t understand why Ari had to worry about it.

In response to his question, Ariana chortled lightly. “It is. Because from early childhood till adulthood my mother, no Mrs Harlow, had taught me to be perfect in the eyes of others. To not stand out and attract attention. I know that what she taught me is nothing but nonsense,” she added when Nicolai parted his lips to speak.

Ariana sucked in a breath and added in a soft voice, “However, it is not as easy as you think. If you chain a dog to a pole for ten years — and remove its chain at the eleventh, it will still stay there even if people try to move him.”

“I am the same,” she did not feel shame in accepting the fact that she had been chained like a dog for all her life. “I was restrained and my mother instilled her teaching through sticks in me until I knew not to fight back. I am lacking the courage and will that you have —I ..only I know how much effort it took me to accept you in my life.”

She sucked in a breath and released it before taking Nicolai’s hand in hers. “I am not ashamed of you. I fear—” She opened her mouth her mind flying back to the memories of the evening, but Ari didn’t clarify what she feared and instead of continuing like before, she said “— I am confused and scared, Nicolai. Just give me some time alright?”

Nicolai appraised her expression before nodding stiffly. But a second later he asked, “But we are in this together, right?”

“Right.”

And for now, that was all that mattered.