Escaped My Ex, Got Snatched by His Rival - Chapter 534

Chapter 534: Nicolai is missing
Addiction was never a good thing. Ariana knew this from the start, and as a doctor, she knew that once the addiction started, it was terribly, notoriously painful for anyone to get through the withdrawal.

It had been three weeks and a half since Nicolai stopped contacting her. He never once picked up or answered her call, and the pangs of loneliness were just getting worse by the day.

Ariana had once arrogantly thought that it would make no difference. Whether that man stayed or left, she would be fine. But it was only now that Nicolai was gone that she realised how difficult it was for her to breathe.

She had chosen her family, thinking and taking Nicolai for granted. She believed that he would stay by her side no matter what she did, but her arrogance was broken just as Noah’s was broken when Ariana chose to step out of his life.

What Noah had done to her, she had done to Nicolai.

In her blind arrogance, she had pushed that man away from her to the point of no return.

Three weeks and a half, and she was yet to get through these bursts of loneliness that she felt every now and then. Didn’t they say that it only took twenty-one days for a person to forget and move on? So why couldn’t she?

Or maybe she was too much of a novice in this entire breakup and moved on drill.

Sometimes the pain was so bad that Ariana found herself choking; she would cry herself to sleep every night while telling herself that it was going to be fine.

That she would move past this ordeal as well, but no matter how many times she told this to herself, she still could not help but miss that man who would smile at her like she carried the sun on her shoulders.

She had more nightmares in the past few weeks than she ever did, and without Nicolai to soothe her, everything was spiralling out of control.

Ariana stared at the canvas in front of her, with a woman walking on broken glass. And yet there was a smile on her face because she could display her pain without worrying about anything.

However, Ariana couldn’t. Every day she had to talk and act like nothing was wrong, but the truth was that she was inwardly dying.

She wanted to be with Nicolai. But she feared disappointing anyone, Ariana knew that she could not get the best of both worlds but —

Her lips curled up in a derisive smile as she raised her hands and covered her face.

“No wonder, I fell for Noah first—he and I are the same kind of people,” she muttered, feeling embarrassed and humiliated over her selfishness.

She was drowning in the pool of self-loathing and criticism. And this time around, there was no Nicolai to catch her.

She was drowning and drowning, but there seemed no end to it.

Her hand trembled as she looked at the canvas.

She promised that she would live for herself —so why was she still stuck in this loop?

And for how long?

She was so freaking weak.

Nausea filled her throat as she got to her feet and rushed to the bathing room where she threw up.

A fucking disgrace.

You are so rotten; what gave you the right to act like a superior in front of Nicolai?

You are so freaking useless.

With that past of yours, do you even deserve to act like a human?

Ariana threw up until she tasted acid in her mouth.

Breathe.

She told herself.

However, she couldn’t breathe.

When she was with Nicolai, he had been her anchor. She had felt a sense of security that was now missing, leaving her completely frenzied.

Even now she could not help but feel an urge to end it all. What was the point of struggling so much? Did she even deserve to live?

She couldn’t even respect the people who cared for her.

Earlier, her mother had come to her room and begged,

‘I know that something is wrong with you, Ariana. Tell me; I will listen to it. At least talk with me, please.’

However, when Ariana opened her mouth to tell the things that she remembered and was remembering, she could not bring herself to say anything.

What was she supposed to tell her parents? That she was raised to become a blow-up doll for a man who was around the age of her father?

Or that she had taken a man who had only wanted to help her for granted and squashed his honest feelings until nothing was left?

Ariana was disgusted by her own actions. Because she was scared of the consequences, she was refusing to step past the starting line.

All because she found solace in staying where she was, because she thought that it hurt too much to take the first step.

She was scared of changes, disappointment, and everything that worked against her.

And because of her fear—she was about to lose everything that mattered.

Her family was worried, and Ariana had noticed this; they were now walking around eggshells when she was present, and Ariana knew that she was a freaking weirdo.

An anomaly.

A freak.

Her mind was not normal, and she was too trapped in her own world.

The sound of the phone’s vibration jerked her out of her reverie, and Ariana looked at the screen of her phone. She sucked in a breath when she saw the name on the screen.

Now, she knew that she was being childish, but she had still written out messages to Nicolai that she had never sent.

Her stupid pride was still stopping her from begging Nicolai to take her back. Something she had never felt when she was with Noah.

Words like If I apologise, will you come back kept flying on the screen, but she dared not send it. Did she deserve it? After the things that she had done. Did she even deserve his apology?

Ariana was not shameless enough to say yes. Because if Noah did not deserve her forgiveness, on what grounds did she deserve Nicolai’s?