First Demonic Dragon - Chapter 963

Chapter 963: Innocence
When Bekka suddenly asked Seras to get up and go somewhere with her, she thought that maybe it would be somewhere within the realm.

She never expected to be brought to see Asherah…

The blue-skinned goddess was at first quite cheerful to see her guests arrive after so long, but her expression of joy quickly changed into one of panic.

“By my light… Seras, have you been crying?”

“N-No! You’ve been crying!” Seras said defensively.

With that kind of response, it was no surprise that she was even less convincing.

Bekka pulled Seras by the hand, and together the two of them kneeled in the golden grass beside Asherah.

“This one is having a little identity crisis it seems.” Bekka began. “She doesn’t believe that-”

Seras covered her mouth. “Did you just bring me here to tell all of our business to a family friend?”

“Yes, now as I was saying..” Bekka continued.

Much to Seras’ chagrin, Bekka really did keep divulging her deepest grievances and shames like there was no tomorrow.

She was mortified the more that she heard.

“And then after it ‘rained’ she-”

“Is rain a codeword for her crying?” Asherah asked for clarification.

“I didn’t cry!” Seras snapped.

“Got it, please continue.” Asherah nodded.

Seras grumbled to herself as Bekka took her hand. “She said she doesn’t believe she can change her nature. She performed this beautiful routine that made my heart sing, but then-”

“I realized that it was a waste of time. That’s all, the end.” Seras smiled coldly before turning to Bekka. “May we go home now?”

“No.” Bekka smiled right back.

If they weren’t sitting in front of the literal mother of all creation, Seras would have hit her with a barrage of not-so-loving language just now.

She was surprised when Asherah suddenly placed her hand on the top of her head and rubbed her hair thoughtfully.

Seras never thought of herself as someone easily pacified. No matter what her lovers might say.

But she had to admit, just feeling the mother goddess’s warmth atop her head was oddly comforting.

“I too would like to see this routine of yours sometime. Will you tell me about it?” Asherah asked gently.

Warmth coursed through Seras’ cheeks. She couldn’t imagine opening up on that level to someone who wasn’t her family.

But with Asherah being practically the closest thing to it, Seras found it slightly easier.

“In our first lives… You know what I wanted?”

Asherah tilted her head as she tried to pull up the memory. “As I recall, it was to be a dancer. You had Kirina hire you an instructor, buy you books… you practiced day and night.”

Seras smiled sadly as more ‘rain’ threatened to muddy her eyes. “I just… I wanted to know if I still had that innocence, you know..? If I could still be that carefree and gentle… Evidently, I cannot.”

Seras tried her best, but she just couldn’t break her learned habits.

When practicing her old movements, her body would unconsciously make sharper movements than what her routine called for.

Bekka recognized them well. They were almost like sword movements.

If Seras had a blade in hand, those moves of hers would have been deadly.

Even when trying her best to leave that part of herself behind, Seras still failed at the simplest act of it. Her violent nature shone through her efforts.

She was a weapon. Tried and true.

“…Don’t you feel as though you are being a bit too hard on yourself ..?” Asherah suddenly said.

“I prefer to think of it as being pragmatic and logical.”

“You should leave the logic to Lailah, sweetheart. I fear you aren’t very good at it.”

Bekka had a snickering fit. Seras finally punched her.

The hound rolled around on the ground while holding her stomach, meanwhile, Asherah held out her hand to Seras.

“Will you give me your spear?” She asked.

Seras had thousands of spears, but somehow she knew exactly which one she was talking about.

She summoned gungnir to her palm. The shiny red weapon hummed with a power that didn’t seem to fit quite well with the atmosphere in the garden.

Asherah took it, and the eye on the spear’s edge immediately opened.

“Behave.”

The eye closed again.

Asherah brought the weapon closer to her face and inspected it carefully without looking away.

Seras wasn’t sure what she was looking for, but she was glad that she always remembered to clean the weapon whenever she had time on her hands.

“Why did you choose a spear to be your weapon? Where was the thought behind it?”

Seras didn’t seem to understand the sudden change in questioning.

“It… made the most sense at the time. My body was nimble with a good foundation from practicing dance. I could defend, evade, and attack all at once.”

Asherah nodded like she could already piece some of that together.

“Right, right. It’s not really a surprise when considering that incident.”

Seras’ gaze sharpened. Asherah remained unafraid.

“Something you all may not know is… in this timeline, Yesh was rather adamant about letting all of you make your own destinies. Your bonds would endure through any changes that he made, so… he did not see the harm in seeing what would happen.”

Seras felt her heart sink to the pit of her stomach. Asherah’s revelation had shaken her terribly.

“You mean the reason that I’m… like this.. is all because of me..?”

Asherah lifted her veil.

She made Seras look into her eyes and behold the genuine honesty in her gaze.

“You are what your soul felt the world needed. A reflection of the harshness of the cosmos, and mortal’s eternal struggle to assert their supremacy over one another.

Because you have also lived through such an unfortunate occurrence, you can relate to and understand the toll it takes on the mind better than most.

Your split personality as a result of the abuse you suffered has made you chase a standard of absolute perfection as a warrior. Because the only thing you can allow to best you is yourself.

It seems to me that you believe you are evil, or negative. You are not.

But what you are, my dear, is wounded. And you should know better than anyone how long scars linger after wounds have healed.”

“But what if I don’t want to be this anymore..? What if I want to reflect something different?” Seras asked desperately. “How do I change my nature?”

Asherah smiled at her sadly. “What you’re saying and what you are asking are two different things. Your divinities, and thus what you reflect, cannot be changed. Only evolved.

But your nature, and by that I assume you mean your personality… that has never been something outside of your control.”

Seras’ eyes were watering again “But I…”

“You have some habits that you want to unlearn. That will take time and effort, but it’s not un-doable. But it’s important to remember that you don’t necessarily need to get that innocent little girl back.

For better or worse, the life and lives you have led have created this woman I see before me. She is strong. Accomplished. Beloved by her children, her parents, her people, and the husband and wives she has decided to spend her life with.

It’s true that time and circumstances may have taken that child-like innocence from you. I fear that is the case for all but Hebe.

But you will learn to derive joy from seeing that innocence from your children. And now, even your grandchildren.

As each new bloodline renews, the miracle of innocence is never lost to us. And as long as we can see a thing, as long as we can feel it, then we can know what it is like to be truly free of our burdens.”

Seras looked like she was developing a Jean headache. “Y-You’re confusing me…”

“For Christ’s sake, Seras..!”

Bekka grabbed Seras by her horns and shook her violently like a big snow globe.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, you beautiful idiot! Your existence is exactly as your soul desires it to be!

But if you want your personality to be different, then do things differently! Look at them differently!

Don’t get discouraged when you make a mistake and definitely don’t just beat down on yourself for it!”

“S-S-S-Stop s-s-s-s-shaking m-m-m-me..!” Seras managed to stammer out.

“No!” Bekka roared. “This is the only way I know how to get through this thick head of yours!”

Asherah wanted to step in and intervene at one point, but now she was afraid that Bekka was going to shake her too.

Instead, she did the one thing that she was sure needed to be done.

*Snap!*

Bekka finally stopped shaking Seras.

As her vision returned to her, and her brain stopped feeling like Jell-O, she was surprised to find Asherah holding two ends of her broken spear.

“…Sorry?” Asherah smiled innocently.

Seras’ jaw dropped. “W-Why would you do that?!”

“How could you do that..?” Bekka whistled. Asherah broke her spear like it was made of sandalwood.

Asherah shrugged nonchalantly as she handed the two pieces back to Seras.

“No more attacking and defending, sweetheart. If you want to have a true change of nature, then you can’t do it by protecting yourself from getting hurt. Sometimes a little pain is necessary.”

Before Seras could ask what she meant, her whole body started to feel heavy, and she began to have difficulty keeping her form together.

In the next second, her body melted into a lake of crimson red blood with various images flashing within the surface…