Harem Streamer System: Every Crime I Broadcast Wins Me a Superheroine - Chapter 147

Chapter 147: Sorting Problems, Mr. Invincible
Volkner Interstellar Museum…

Shadow pinched the bridge of his nose.

『I can’t believe I’m actually telling my girlfriends that I have to work overnight with five hot women… together… alone… together… ahhh, I’m screwed…』

He could already feel it coming.

The moment Emma picked up after he sent the riskiest text in their relationship, the explosion was inevitable.

And sure enough—

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME──?!”

Shadow visibly flinched, wincing as he yanked the phone away from his ear. Even with some distance, Emma’s voice still cut through the receiver like an air raid siren.

His fingers curled tightly around the device as he exhaled sharply, pressing his other hand over his shadowy mask as if it could physically shield him from her fury.

A beat passed.

Then—

A shadow loomed over him.

He lifted his head.

Witch and Vixen stood nearby.

They watched him with neutral expressions.

Witch had her arms folded, her head tilting ever so slightly.

“…Is everything fine?”

She asked in that cool, unreadable tone of hers.

Vixen didn’t say anything, but her deep gaze carried the same question.

Shadow stiffened. He put the phone back to his ear.

Immediately—

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU FUCKING DID ALL THAT WITHOUT TELLING ME!!”

Emma was still in full meltdown mode.

“DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO HAVE ANOTHER MENTAL BREAKDOWN?! DO YOU WANT DR. GOODE TO KEEP MAKING MONEY OFF US?! HUH?! BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT FEELS LIKE!”

Shadow exhaled through his nose.

He was already regretting this call.

“Emma, just—”

“I CAN’T STAND IT! I SWEAR TO GOD, SCOTT—”

She cut him off as her usually tender voice practically vibrated through the speaker.

“YOU BETTER NOT DO ANYTHING SEXUAL WITH THEM OR I SWEAR I’LL— I’LL—”

A sudden hesitation.

Then, in a quieter, panicked mumble—

“I-, I’LL FORGET ABOUT ALL MY FAITH IN YOU AND… a-, and watch that damn stream… and I might as well touch myself to it too…”

Silence.

Pure, heavy silence.

Shadow’s eye twitched.

Emma audibly sucked in a breath.

“… Uhhhh. Forget that last part.”

Her voice was so small.

Shadow was rubbing his temples now.

“Emma—”

“JUST COME HOME AND FUCK US ALREADY!!”

Shadow’s entire body tensed.

Instantly, a sharp, throbbing sensation shot straight to his lower half, making him grunt quietly. His hand instinctively went to his crotch and his fingers pressed against the painfully stiff fabric.

He could feel a calcium-hard bulge!

『Damn, I’ve never been this…』

He swallowed his thoughts with one painful grunt.

His focus went back to the perverted lady on the phone.

“Emma… trust me… with the way I am now, there’s nothing I want more than to march back home, spread the legs of my lovely women, and give them a piece of this meat. That’s literally all I can think of right now, ugh!”

Truly, it was.

Emma was breathing heavily through the phone, still caught up in her own frustrated emotions.

Then—

“… Oh wow.”

Her voice softened, almost in awe.

“You’ve never been this forward about it before…”

She mused.

“Are you really that hard?”

Shadow exhaled sharply as he tried to shake off the tension in his body.

“Emma.”

“No, seriously. How bad is it?”

“…So friggin’ hard it feels like there’s an flipping engine down there.”

There was a long, stunned pause on her end.

Then—

“Pssst──” she whispered. “Can I see it?”

Shadow’s fingers twitched.

“Emma.”

“Just a pic.”

“Emma.”

“Pretty pleaseeee? ❤️”

“Emma.”

“Come on, I wanna count how many veins are there.”

Shadow inhaled deeply through his nose and pressed a hand over the phone’s speaker.

Then, with a completely forced, absolutely fake laugh, he turned toward Witch.

“Uhhhm, yeah, everything should be fine, ha-ha…”

Witch didn’t even blink.

Vixen arched an eyebrow.

Neither of them looked convinced.

But they didn’t pry. They just exchanged a glance and turned their attention elsewhere, moving to examine some old relics in the exhibition hall.

Taking the opportunity, Shadow swiftly slipped away.

Weaving past ancient artifacts and covered displays, he ducked behind one of the larger structures shrouded in a heavy tarp, finally getting a moment of privacy.

He brought the phone back to his ear.

“Emma.”

“Yes, honey ❤️…”

A pause.

Shadow exhaled, pressing his back against the cold stone.

“I don’t like this whole picture thing…”

He muttered very uncomfortably.

“You just use it to touch yourself.”

Emma giggled softly──like a Disney princess.

“Awwwn~”

She cooed like a little girl in love.

“Whatever. Just rip off that armor and show me some of that half-European glizzy.”

Shadow’s entire face soured.

“At least be shameful about it.”

Emma chuckled smugly.

“As if I could ever be shameful about wanting to see the only renewable meat I can put in my mouth.”

Shadow visibly cringed.

His soul left his body.

“Alright, alright. That’s enough.”

Emma just giggled again.

Shadow let out a quiet breath and his eyes slipped shut as the nyxion particles around his crotch responded to his will.

The shimmering, inky-black material shifted and dispersed like obedient shadows, peeling back to reveal his boxer shorts underneath—a test tube pattern decorated the fabric.

A small smirk tugged at his lips.

『Stylish… aren’t I?』

Then, in one swift motion, he hooked his fingers into the waistband and pulled them down.

Thud!

His thing practically sprung into position, standing like a proud, pulsing tower on the verge of eruption. The sheer weight and rigidity of it made him let out an exhausted sigh.

It was so big… like a mutated cucumber.

“Damn…”

He muttered as he rubbed his temple.

“Was I always this hard? I ask again…”

A pile of disbelief smacked his face as he stared down at his throbbing problem. Was it the nyxion particles stimulating him somehow? Or was it just that his body was feeling too damn good today? Either way, he needed answers.

Holding his phone out, Shadow positioned the camera just right and──click!

A bright, traitorous flash exploded in the dark hall.

Witch’s sharp eyes instantly flicked to the side and narrowed ever so slightly in suspicion.

Shadow froze.

『Oh, shit. I didn’t turn off the damn flash!』

“What was that?”

Witch’s voice was crisp and carried just enough curiosity to be dangerous.

Panic surged in his veins.

His brain fired on all cylinders as he scrambled to jam his junk back into his boxer shorts, shoving it down with all the force of a man stuffing an overfilled suitcase. His hands worked fast, borderline frantic, as if his life depended on it.

“N-, Nothing serious!”

He blurted, still forcing his thick length into place like a desperate man trying to hide contraband.

“My phone’s brightness—yeah, it’s, uh, acting up! Just, um, an issue with the screen, no big deal!”

Witch’s stare lingered.

She was still very much suspicious of him.

For a moment, Shadow could practically hear his heartbeat hammering in his ears. His hands were still awkwardly hovering near his waistband, making sure everything was secured in place.

But then—

“…Hmph.”

Witch clicked her tongue, ultimately deciding not to press further. With a disinterested shrug, she turned back toward Judy, who had resumed her enthusiastic rambling about some fascinating alien tech.

Shadow finally exhaled. That was way too close.

Swallowing down his nerves, he quickly glanced at his phone screen. There, displayed in crisp HD, was the masterpiece he had captured—his own throbbing glory, radiating dominance.

A smirk tugged at his lips.

“Damn…”

He murmured, tilting his head in admiration.

“That’s big…”

A pause.

Ahem.

“… If I do say so myself.”

His expression was so smug, so unreasonably proud, that if anyone saw him, they’d probably think he had just received news of a billion-dollar inheritance.

Satisfied, he tapped the screen, selecting Gwen and Emma from his contacts, and hit send.

And just like that, his mission was complete.

“Phew…”

He sighed, then rolled his shoulders.

“Alright. Now I can focus on these nutcases.”

As if he hadn’t just risked getting caught in 4K.

･･･

Emma’s Mansion…

Emma sat in the living room, phone clutched tightly in both hands as her brown eyes fixed on the screen with an intensity that could burn holes through steel. Her lips were slightly parted, her breathing shallow, and her fingers twitched like an addict itching for a hit.

A message notification popped up, and she jolted like a cat hit with a static shock, only to realize it wasn’t the message.

Her brows furrowed.

『Tsk… where the fuck is it?』

She bit her lip, foot tapping against the floor with increasing impatience. The longer she waited, the more she looked like a madwoman on the verge of tearing her own hair out.

From the couch beside her, Gwen finally tore her gaze away from her own phone and lifted an eyebrow.

“… Uh, Emma? You good?”

Emma didn’t even blink.

“… Hah?”

“I thought you were busy tearing Scott a new one for both of us, no?”

Gwen continued, stretching her arms behind her head.

“You know, telling him off for being a dick?”

Emma waved a lazy hand, her eyes still glued to her screen.

“Yeah, yeah… but I decided against it after he agreed to send a dick pic.”

Silence. Then—

“… Eh?”

That was Marcus.

His entire soul seemed to glitch as he turned his head so fast it nearly gave him whiplash.

But Emma? Emma didn’t even register him. She was too busy tilting her phone, shaking it, holding it up to the light, then back down like an investigator analyzing a crime scene.

Her expression darkened.

『… Huh? Why isn’t it here yet?』

Her fingers hovered over the screen, tapping impatiently.

“What’s taking him so damn long?”

She shook the phone again, as if physical force would somehow speed up the process.

And that was when she felt it.

A presence beside her.

She turned slightly—only to see Gwen seated dangerously close, also staring at her own phone screen, pupils dilated in eerie focus.

“… You too?” Emma asked, blinking.

Gwen smirked.

“You should’ve said something sooner.”

She stretched, cracking her knuckles.

“… Maybe I’ll make it my wallpaper.”

Emma snapped her head toward her, eyes widening.

“Nuh-uh! No way! I’m doing that first!”

A sharp, competitive tension occupied the air.

Both women locked eyes, narrow and challenging.

This was an unspoken battle!

Then, just as quickly, they snapped their heads back to their screens and their fingers hovered over their devices as they eagerly awaited their prize.

Meanwhile, Marcus was still processing what the hell he just heard.

“… Who would’ve thought my aunt was this shameless? Oh goodness…”

He muttered, rubbing his temple like a man going through a midlife crisis at sixteen.

Desperate for some form of sanity, he turned to the only other person in the room: Dark Elf.

She was sitting cross-legged, casually munching on a bag of chips, her expression deadpan.

He gave her a pleading look, as if silently asking:

Why? Just… why?

Without missing a second, Dark Elf shrugged.

Then she stuffed another handful of chips into her mouth.

She had no answers.

And then—

… KYAAAAAA ❤️!

A high-pitched squeal erupted through the room, so deafening that Marcus physically flew off the couch and hit the floor with a thud.

He groaned, clutching his head.

“The fuck was that──?!”

His eyes darted upward, and what he saw made his soul leave his body.

Emma and Gwen were staring at their screens with their expressions unhinged.

Their actual pupils had turned into literal heart shapes.

They were trembling, biting their fingernails, looking like hungry hyenas that just spotted fresh prey.

Emma was practically drooling as she whispered in her heavily aroused and breathy voice:

“Oh myyy… it looks so awesome in HD… I can literally see that cute little ‘X’ mark he has… ahhhhnnn~”

Her thighs pressed together instinctively, trying to suppress the heat building up inside her.

Gwen wasn’t far behind.

A crazy grin stretched across her lips as her eyes glowed with something dangerous.

“Hmm~ ❤️ his junk looks a little sweaty… I wonder how those boxer shorts smell…”

Her fingers slowly traced her lips as she sighed dreamily.

“It must be so strong and musty… like a lemon left in a dusty box for years… hmmm ahnnn~”

Her shoulders shuddered.

Then, suddenly, she started laughing—a soft, eerie giggle as she closed her eyes and imagined herself sniffing his shorts.

A full five seconds passed in that deranged fantasy.

Then—

Her eyes fluttered open.

A loud, shaky moan escaped her lips.

Her entire body wobbled. She almost fainted.

Dark Elf, still chewing her chips, finally spoke.

“… Hrmm.”

She swallowed, then wiped her fingers.

“Now I wanna see it.”

Marcus gave up.

This household was doomed.

━ ━ ━ ━

Wagner’s Warehouse…

A loud CRASH echoed through the abandoned warehouse as the rusted metal doors burst open.

Invisible Woman stumbled inside, her breath ragged, her bodysuit slightly torn from the scuffle. She leaned against the nearest surface—a dusty metal shelf—her chest rising and falling as she tried to catch her breath.

The warehouse was dark and quiet.

Except for the light and soft buzzing of something.

Seated in the corner, legs crossed, was Mr. Invincible.

He was completely at ease, watching a trashy reality show on a floating holographic screen while carefully lining up his already sharp hairline with a precision clipper. His muscular arms flexed slightly as he made the final touches with a face of absolute focus.

He lazily turned his head to the side and, upon seeing the exhausted Invisible Woman, smirked.

“Oh, my dear…”

Such a deep voice he had.

“Did you get the thing…?”

Invisible Woman clenched her fists as her eyes twitched.

She suddenly punched the empty air in frustration as her anger bubbled over.

“No, I didn’t fucking get the thing! There was some… so—, some… argh──!!”

Mr. Invincible exhaled slowly and held up a finger.

“Chill out for a moment.”

He tilted his head, checking his fade in the reflection of his wrist communicator.

“Let me get my shit straight first.”

He made the finishing touches to his cut, adjusted his thick lampshade mustache, then finally put the clipper down on a nearby crate. He cracked his neck, then turned to her with an expectant look.

“Alright. Explain.”

Invisible Woman took a deep breath, straightened up, and placed one hand on her waist. She reached up with the other, undoing the clasps of her helmet before pulling it off.

Her short black hair fell just slightly over her sweat-slicked forehead, her sharp brown eyes glaring at him. Even in her frustration, she still carried an air of refined elegance, like a seasoned femme fatale.

“Everything was going perfectly…”

She paced slightly.

“I used those stinking robbers as a distraction, slipped into the vault, got my hands on the item, and was this close to getting the fuck out.”

She pinched her fingers together before scoffing.

“Then, the old fucking wire trap trick caught me──can you believe it?! And before I knew it, those damn superheroes surrounded me!”

Mr. Invincible let out a low growl of irritation.

His jaw tensed as he straightened to his full height.

“Hrmm… we should just skip the whole heist shit and do a quick smash-and-grab…”

He muttered, rolling his shoulders.

His bodysuit flexed against his toned muscles, the red and gold accents catching the low light of the warehouse.

“Never liked the sneaky movement to begin with.”

Invisible Woman folded her arms and shot him a look.

“Of course that’s what you want.”

She narrowed her eyes.

“You never want to do things the delicate way… ugh. Such an untamed brute.”

Mr. Invincible arched a brow at her insult, but instead of looking offended, he smirked. With a quick motion, he picked up the clipper again and, zzzrrt, sharpened the edges of his already perfect fade once more.

Then, he stepped closer as his imposing frame towered over her with ease.

“You called me a brute last night, too… but maybe I wasn’t rough enough with you.”

Invisible Woman’s lips twitched, but she quickly schooled her expression. She stepped back and tilted her head with mock defiance.

“Focus, lover boy. The boss wants this done first…”

She purred, then leaned in slightly as her voice turned very seductive.

“And if we pull this off successfully…”

She reached down, cupped her own big breasts, and gave it a subtle bounce.

“You’ll get some of this.”

“Ohohoho… that’s good…”

“After all… a certain someone seemed to enjoy grabbing and squeezing them today.”

For a moment, the warehouse fell completely silent.

Then—

“WHAT?!”

Mr. Invincible’s booming voice bounced off the walls.

His expression turned deadly.

His hands had become fists.

His whole body tensed with raw, unfiltered rage.

“Someone touched my woman?! WHO──?!”

His eyes burned with fury as his muscles flexed, veins popping against his dark skin.

“They’re DEAD! THEY’RE FUCKING DEAD!”