Hello, Ex! I Finally Found My Worth! - Chapter 68

Chapter 68: My Fault

The following morning, Emma sat on the edge of her bed, her fingers fiddling nervously with the hem of her night wear.

Her mind replayed the events of the previous night for the hundredth time—the warmth of Alex’s lips, the tenderness of the kiss, and the electric pull she felt in that fleeting moment.

It wasn’t just a kiss. At least, not to her. But had it been the same for Alex? Did it stir something in him too, or was it just a heat-of-the-moment thing he already regretted? She thought thinking about the look on his face when she pulled away.

What if she hadn’t pulled away? Would he had gone all the way with her? Was he attracted to her? Did he already like her?

Although she had always known she was beginning to find him attractive, she never thought she would enjoy kissing him or having him caress her like he did the previous night.

Perhaps it was her attraction to him that led her to kiss him but what about him? What had left him to kiss her?

She let out a groan and flopped back onto her bed, staring at the ceiling. What if he thinks I’m ridiculous for overthinking this? What if he avoids me now? Or worse, what if he’s already decided it meant nothing?

Though she was trying to be logical and consider all aspect possible, the thought made her stomach churn. It couldn’t have meant something to him.

She thought back to him flirting with her at the date while they were playing charade and she shook her head. He must love her quite attractive too.

Emma thought and sat up again feeling quite restless. She paced back and forth across her room, her hands tugging at her curly brown hair. Should I go knock on his door? Apologize? Act like it never happened and see what he would say?

Would he tell her it wasn’t a mistake and that he wanted it too?

“Why did I have to run away last night like a coward?” she hissed.

What was she going to do now? She couldn’t just pretend like the kiss never happened, not while they were living in the same house.

Feeling very confused and conflicted about what to do, Ivy’s name came to mind and she briefly considered calling Ivy for advice.

Ivy was her best friend now, and if anyone could help her make sense of this, it was her. But as she imagined Ivy’s reaction, the mischievous grin that would be on Ivy’s face and how she would relentlessly tease her about it, Emma immediately dismissed the idea.

“Nope. Ivy would never let me live this down.”

Her pacing quickened. “Ugh, what do I do?” she whispered to herself as she ran her fingers through her hair in frustration.

She couldn’t shake the memory of Alex’s gaze, the way his eyes had darkened with something she didn’t quite understand. Did it mean something to him? Or was it just another moment to forget? She found herself asking again.

Why did the answer to that question mean so much to her? Was it because she was willing to start something real with him if it meant something to Alex or was it because she probably wanted to define their boundaries again?

She knew it wasn’t the latter but was she ready to pursue something real with him? She mused, thinking now of going to ask him if it meant something to him because it meant to her and she couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss.

Emma froze when she heard a knock at the door. Her heart leapt into her throat.

“Oh, no! What if it’s him? What if he wants to talk about it?” she mused, mortified at the thought of facing him so soon to talk about it.

For a split second, she debated pretending she wasn’t in her room. But she knew that was childish. Besides, she needed to get this done with so she knows her stand with him.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the door. Expecting to see him there didn’t stop her heart from skipping a beat when she saw it was really him.

Alex stood there, looking freshly showered and impossibly put together in his crisp shirt and tie. But his usual confidence seemed slightly muted.

His hands were tucked into his pockets, his jaw tense as if he were bracing himself for something. He needed to apologize to her.

Emma felt her cheeks burn as soon as she saw him. Her first instinct was to slam the door shut and hide, but her feet stayed rooted to the ground, shame washing over her.

“Good morning,” Alex said, his voice calm but slightly strained.

“Good morning,” Emma replied softly, avoiding his gaze. Her heart raced as she prayed for him to get to the point quickly so she could escape the unbearable tension.

“How are you doing?” Alex asked after a brief pause not knowing what to say.

Emma hesitated. The question felt loaded, like it wasn’t just about her morning routine. “I’m okay,” she managed, though the heat in her face betrayed her words.

Alex stood there, silent for a moment. He seemed to be searching for the right words, his expression uncharacteristically uncertain. The weight of the kiss lingered between them, unspoken but palpable.

“I wanted to say—”

“I need to apologize—”

They both spoke at the same and stopped, looking at each other awkwardly.

Did she want to apologize for what happened? Did that mean she hated the kiss? She wouldn’t want it to happen again? Was that why she ran off after she pulled away? Alex mused, partially hurt that Emma never wanted the kiss.

Not wanting to tell her about his feelings and getting chided again, Alex gestured for her to continue. “You first,” he said, hoping and praying she wouldn’t apologize.

What did he wanted to say?

Although she would’ve loved to hear what he had to say first, she shook her cleared her throat to continue like he had asked.

Emma fidgeted with the door handle, her voice barely above a whisper. “I just… I’m sorry about last night. The kiss. I know it wasn’t supposed to happen.” Her cheeks flamed with embarrassment, and she wished the ground would swallow her whole.

What would he say now? That he liked that it happened? She mused, her head bowed down as she waited for his response.

Alex shook his head. “No, Emma. Don’t apologize. It wasn’t your fault,” he said feeling very bad and stupid for thinking she had wanted it too.

Her heart fluttered, but confusion quickly followed. “Why not? Is it because…” she started, hesitant but unable to stop herself. “Because you….”

“It was my fault,” he said firmly. “I shouldn’t have let things go that far. I’m sorry. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

Emma’s heart sank. So, that’s it? He regrets it? He doesn’t feel the same way I do?

She cleared her throat and nodded slowly, swallowing the lump in her throat. “You’re right. It’s better that way,” she said, her voice steady but her chest aching.

Alex gave her a small, apologetic smile. “I have to head to work now. I’ll see you later.”

“Okay,” Emma said quietly, stepping back as he turned and walked away.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Emma closed her eyes, leaning her forehead against it. The ache in her chest felt heavier now.

I was stupid to think it meant something to him. Of course, it didn’t. It was just a mistake he regrets, nothing more.

She walked back to her bed and sat down, staring blankly at the floor. He was so quick to shut it down. I probably made a fool of myself thinking we shared something real.

She told herself but no matter how much she tried to convince herself it was just a fleeting moment, she couldn’t shake the way he’d looked at her the night before—or how her heart had leapt in response.

I need to stop this. Stop thinking about him like this. He doesn’t see me that way.

Emma sighed, burying her face in her hands. Yet, despite her best efforts, she couldn’t stop herself from replaying the kiss in her mind, and blaming herself for thinking Alex felt whatever she felt.

As Alex walked away from Emma’s door, he let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. His mind was a tangle of emotions, none of which he could fully unpack.

He ran a hand through his hair, frustration simmering beneath his composed exterior. The truth was, the kiss had shaken him more than he cared to admit. He hadn’t planned it, hadn’t expected it, but in that moment, it had felt… right.

He had wanted to ask Emma if they could take things serious and make their marriage real but after hearing her apologize for the kiss, he had felt totally disoriented.

She didn’t want him like she had implied the other day. It was just a contract marriage to her.

We both have our boundaries, our reasons for this arrangement. I was stupid thinking all that could easily change with just a kiss.

But even as he told himself this, Alex couldn’t ignore the memory of her lips on his or the way she’d looked at him afterward—shy, vulnerable, and utterly captivating.

He exhaled sharply as he got into his car. Focus, Alex. You need to keep things professional. That was what she wanted.

She deserved better than him complicating her life with his family problems.