Monster? No, I'm a Cultivator! (Percy Jackson) - Chapter 33

Chapter 33: Chapter 32
Ocean Song soared triumphantly through the sky, sword beneath his feet, robes flapping in the wind while he held Nessie over his head.

Above him, her flippers flopped uselessly at her sides. In her mouth—still—was Daedalus, who, by this point, had stopped resisting and simply dangled there, arms crossed, eyes glazed with the weariness of a man who had stopped trying to understand the world around him.

“This is the most humiliating moment of my life,” Daedalus finally said, voice muffled slightly by teeth and fish breath. “I am Daedalus. I invented labyrinthine architecture. I outwitted gods. My name is spoken in reverence in every academy worth its marble. And now I am being transported like a soggy sock in a sea cow’s mouth.”

Ocean Song glanced up cheerfully. “Nessie says you’re chewy!”

“What is this thing, how did it find me in my workshop?!” Daedalus screamed into the wind.

“This is Nessie. She’s the Loch Ness Monster. Her Dao name is the Great Void Heavenly Demon,” Ocean Song explained helpfully. “She’s very sneaky.”

Ocean Song briefly considered teaching her to use a bow—but realized that a stealth archer of such power would be too much for this world to handle.

“Bawhoooo~!” Nessie let out a delighted bubble of joy, flapping her flippers.

Unfortunately, that little celebration jostled her mouth just enough.

“Wait—!” Ocean Song cried.

Daedalus plummeted.

Ocean Song dove like a missile. With all the grace of a true cultivator, he maneuvered the sword beneath Nessie and angled her head just in time.

CHOMP.

Caught again. Upside down this time.

“This is cruelty,” Daedalus muttered from his new position. “This is what cruelty looks like. Is this my punishment? Mom, is this what you sent to punish me?”

“This is what opportunity looks like!” Ocean Song replied. “A heaven-sent opportunity, your life’s fortune!”

“YOU’RE FLYING ON A SWORD!” Daedalus snapped. “Do you understand how offensive that is to a man who handcrafted feathered wings from bird carcasses and wax?! Do you?! There’s a moral lesson in my story! A universal truth! Children everywhere grow up learning it!”

Ocean Song tilted his head thoughtfully. “A sword is better.”

“EXCUSE ME?!” he roared defiantly, as it seemed like his rage finally reached the boiling point. “I’m a genius! You… you’re shooting through the air like a loose arrow. My wings had class, elegance, they had logic.”

“Explain to me, fellow Daoist, how mixing bird feathers and wax and putting them on your back let you fly.”

“…”

“….”

“Fuck you,” Daedalus spat. “Your sword-flying nonsense makes no sense!”

“Easy,” Ocean Song said proudly. “I merely lift up the sword through the use of my Qi and Sword Dao, cutting the quintessential essence of the world that allows me to soar to the heavens.”

“…Wait, do you not even need the sword to fly?” he came to a realization as he filtered out the words he didn’t know.

“Of course I do, fellow Daoist,” Ocean Song replied.

Daedalus perked up. He was angry—furious, even—but he wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to learn something new. Obviously, to him, this monster before him had been doing something he had no context for. Thus, Daedalus did what he does best: analyze and theorize.

“I’m a Sword Cultivator. Of course I must fly on a sword,” Ocean Song said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Daedalus didn’t know what to say in response. He had absolutely no idea what the monster kidnapping him was talking about.

And honestly, that made him even more angry.

“Did I accidentally inhale some bad chemicals in my lab? Is this just a ridiculous hallucination?”

“This is very real, fellow Daoist!” Ocean Song smiled.

“I was assaulted by the Loch Ness Monster in my lab and now I’m being flown through the air by a monster riding a sword,” Daedalus countered.

Ocean Song considered that and realized he didn’t know if he could convince Daedalus that this wasn’t a bad hallucination either.

“Mmmwhooo~” Nessie let out one of her happy noises, this time muffled because she didn’t want to drop him.

“You look like a Pokémon,” Daedalus finally said.

Ocean Song blinked. “I thought you lived in the Labyrinth?”

“I have cable,” he spoke and instantly became crestfallen. “…Had cable.”

“Fear not, fellow Daoist. I shall send Nessie back to loot your workshop for anything of value once you’ve settled into the Sect!” Ocean Song did his best to reassure the ancient demigod.

“Just… drop me, please. Put me out of my misery. I’ll take whatever judgement waits for me in the underworld.”

Ocean Song let out a laugh. “Fear not, fellow Daoist,” he started again. “We all may very well die in the next few hours anyway!”

Daedalus didn’t know what he meant by that, but for some reason, it frightened him more than it should.

[Line Break]

It didn’t take long for them to return to the sect.

Once they got closer, Daedalus seemed to perk up—as much as one could while being carried like a kitten by Nessie.

“Is… that where my new prison is going to be?” He seemed surprised. “Looks oddly immaculate.”

“How wonderful, the Sect seems to be finished!”

The clouds opened up, the mists cleared—and revealed a towering, multi-story building in the ancient eastern style.

Other buildings stretched outward from the main hall, forming a harmonious web of courtyards and halls. Large bridges spanned mountain peaks, and tall archways welcomed visitors from the horizon.

There were small pieces of land floating around it as well, with other buildings perched atop them. There were waterfalls tumbling from even higher pieces of sky-floating earth, feeding lakes that gently poured over the edge and created rainbows as the water fell.

It wasn’t covered in gold or jewels. It wasn’t ostentatious. But it exuded an unmistakable aura of elegance and refinement.

Here, there are Immortals.

A celestial landscape that could even cause the gods to envy.

Ocean Song was impressed.

Truly, the workers managed to capture his designs well.

He would have to send his thanks to his Uncle and make sure to praise them in front of him to give them face.

Nessie looked excited too! To the point where she nearly dropped Daedalus by accident again.

“This will be your new home, fellow Daoist!” Ocean Song declared. “If we survive past today.”

“…Why do you keep saying that?” Daedalus narrowed his eyes.

Admittedly, he was a bit awestruck by the display. In the back of his mind, he questioned if this… move would be as bad as he originally thought.

Truthfully, his mind had been running ragged trying to think of why this monster had wanted him. For what nefarious purpose did he want his genius—for what plans or schemes? But frankly, he just couldn’t guess what Ocean Song was thinking.

Daedalus had seen Olympus before, and truth be told, he found it gaudy. Maybe it was just how foreign this place looked, but he seemed to appreciate it at first sight a bit more.

He was a Master Architect, so the masterful designs and construction were caught by him quickly.

Ocean Song descended in a wide, graceful arc, landing with a theatrical flourish atop a floating stone platform nestled near the sect’s central plaza.

Nessie, still hovering slightly above ground, blinked twice.

Then unceremoniously spat Daedalus out like a watermelon seed.

THUMP.

He landed face-first on the marble, bounced once, and lay still—arms and legs sprawled, dignity in ruins.

Ocean Song nodded approvingly. “A successful delivery.”

Daedalus didn’t move. He didn’t groan. He didn’t even twitch. He merely lay there, face pressed against the stone, as if trying to fuse with it and escape the waking world.

Ocean Song stepped forward and gestured dramatically. “Fellow Daoist! Welcome to your new home!”

Medusa stood nearby, arms crossed, one serpentine brow arched as she looked down at the soggy architect on the floor. “Is he dead?”

“Possibly. Maybe.” Ocean Song didn’t know the answer.

Daedalus groaned faintly, turning over to welcome the world.

A second presence made itself known.

Hecate stood off to the side, her divine silhouette haloed in smoky wisps. She didn’t speak. She didn’t even look directly at Daedalus—just acknowledged his existence with the same regard one gives a mildly interesting cloud.

That was all it took.

Daedalus jolted upright with the terror of a man who realized he was in the presence of an actual deity. “Hecate,” he choked, scrambling to a half-kneel, half-grovel. “Goddess of Magic, Mistress of Crossroads—”

“Stop, I don’t’ care, I’m not here.” Hecate replied, not wanting to get further involved in whatever nonsense was happening.

Yet, she didn’t leave.

It was like watching two trains about to collide. She just couldn’t actually bring herself to look away from the trainwreck that was happening in slow motion around her.

Daedalus hesitantly nodded. Despite being thousands of years old and a genius, he still was absolutely terrified of any actual deities. It was something that had been ingrained in him ever since he was young and never left.

Before he could collect himself, he finally noticed Medusa.

His eyes narrowed instantly. “Why is a monster here? Quickly, kill it!”

Medusa’s snakes all hissed in unison. “Excuse me?”

“….I’m a monster as well.” Ocean Song interjected.

He surged to his feet, still dripping from Nessie saliva, and pointed. “That’s Medusa! What is she doing here?! She’s a—” Utterly ignoring him.

Medusa flashed him a toothy smile. “And this is the thing you dragged back with your fish?”

“Oh okay, just ignore me.” Ocean Song said softly.

Daedalus pulled out a sword from his pocket. “This has been one of the most humiliating days of my life, but I won’t be talked down to be you of all things. A pathetic monster that only exists to get killed for glory.”

Medusa narrowed her eyes from behind her veil, silent for a beat or two. “At least I never murdered my family.”

That hit like a thunderclap.

Daedalus froze. His expression twisted, pride shriveling into something uglier. “How dare you.” He hissed deeper than her many snakes.

Ocean Song swung his sword between them, the air pressure nearly forcing them off their feet.

“Fellow Sect members shouldn’t fight! Well, fight with swords if you want to fight.” Ocean Song clarified then gestured to Nessie. “You’re making the Great Void Heavenly Demon sad.”

They both looked at Nessie who lowered her head. “Bawhooooo…” She let out a soft sorrowful noise.

She eventually scoot over to her little kiddie pool that was still left out at the steps towards the entrance of the sect and plopped herself down in, head laying on the ground.

“I hope you both are proud of yourselves.” Ocean Song looked at both Medusa and Daedalus.

For some reason, both of them looked a bit ashamed as they saw Nessie and stopped arguing.

When they weren’t looking, Ocean Song shot Nessie a Thumbs up, which she waved her flipper back at him.

Truly, he was a wise Cultivator, able to diffuse a potentially bad situation without resorting to violence!

“Now, let’s move on to the topic of why you’re here, Fellow Daoist.” Ocean Song pat the inventor’s shoulder. “Hecate, can you please?”

It was obvious to Ocean Song that Hecate was hiding ‘it’. Obviously, this wasn’t a proper hiding, as she said before that such a thing wasn’t plausible with how the laws work. But there were hundreds of ghosts and workers here not hours ago, so it’s clear she atleast hid it from sight from those lot.

Hecate snapped her fingers, revealing the Tree right where they left it.

Daedalus looked at it and did a double take. He opened his mouth to say something, then stopped and his eyes dilated in realizing what it was.

“#!@$%!#^%!$#@”

More improper words were added to Ocean Song’s vocabulary.

“IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS!?” Daedalus shouted, pointing at it.

“Yup.” Medusa responded.

“Why are you not freaking out!?”

“Because if you can’t help, then I’m jumping off the mountain and hiding in Tartarus until things blow over.” She replied rather casually.

Daedalus gaped at her incredulously.

“…Is this why you brought me here!?” Daedalus now understood everything Ocean Song meant about probably dying today.

“Fellow Daoist.” Ocean Song forced a smile. “Please…unfuck us.”

“That is a horrible way to phrase it, but oddly appropriate.” Hecate Chimed in.

“What…what makes you think I’ll help you with this? I could leave right now and pretend this never happened.”

“Fellow Daoist.” Ocean Song wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “You can’t leave.”

“No, I very much think I can. Are you going to threaten me?” He barked out a laugh. “Good luck, I’d take a normal death over whatever the heck will happen now.”

“You misunderstand.” Ocean Song shook his head. “You can’t leave now because you’re now an accomplice.”

Daedalus wanted to retort, but his eyes widened. Hera wouldn’t give a shit if he was actually involved or not now, he was here he saw it.

This crafty monster forced him to be an accomplice so he couldn’t run away!

He knew it!

He knew this Monster was frighteningly intelligent!

A moment of silence lingered after Ocean Song’s declaration.

Daedalus stood there, looking at the tree.

The Golden Apple Tree.

Hera’s tree.

A gift from Gaia.

A sacred, divine artifact of matrimonial symbolism that absolutely should not be here.

He took a single step back.

“How is it here, why is it here!?” Daedalus demanded.

“Bawhooo~”

The inventor’s eyes jerked to Nessie. “You.” He said in a low voice as everything slotted into place.

And then the sky screamed.

“WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT—?!”

The voice was feminine, and it was utterly furious.

Ocean Song was fairly sure that it shook the entire eastern seaboard.

Every bird in the sky scattered. The clouds parted in fear. Trees seemed to want to bend over and hide in the ground. Even Ocean Song’s own connection to the ocean let him feel the waves recede in fear.

“….I think she found out.” Ocean Song noted.

“YOU THINK!?” Daedalus shouted in response.

Ocean Song stared at the sky, face frozen in a horror he could barely process.

Another wave followed. A pressure—no, an awareness—pulsing outward from the east, from a single impossible peak.

Mount Olympus.

A colossal, god-tier wave of power began to sweep across the landscape like a giant hand brushing aside the veil of the world itself.

“She’s scanning,” Hecate muttered, eyes narrowing. “Slowly and methodically. Technically, she’s not breaking any rules.”

Ocean Song could also see it. Like a dome that emanated outwards from the Mountain, her Divine Sense expanded at miles a second.

Hecate called it slow, but it had already passed through several states.

“Do something!” Medusa looked like she was about to cry.

“Bawhooo?” Nessie covered her eyes with her flippers and disappeared from everyone’s view.

Ocean Song whipped around, grabbed Daedalus by the shoulders, and started shaking him violently. “Fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it fix it!”

“I JUST GOT HERE!” Daedalus wailed. “WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO?!”

“FIX IT!”

“I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW—”

And then something in him snapped.

Daedalus thrust both hands toward the earth, eyes wide and glowing, screaming in a mix of panic and ancient architectural fervor.

“ASHFHEWHFASHDHF” He let out an unintelligible scream as the pulsing wave of divine fury was but miles away.

The ground rumbled and burst open.

And the Labyrinth itself rose from the earth, wrapped around the Tree, and pulled it inside before pushing back into the ground, disappearing from view.

The moment it vanished, Hera’s divine scan swept over the area—

It paused for the briefest of moments, perhaps noting Ocean Song who had been the hot topic of discussion recently.

But her fury wasn’t particularly directed at him. It was singularly focused on the thief of her sacred Apple Tree, whoever that was, and in that fraction of a second, it didn’t see the Tree anywhere near him, and continued onwards.

Everyone stood frozen in place.

Daedalus collapsed onto the ground in a cold sweat.

Medusa slowly sat down too, coiling up around herself.

Hecate let out a breath of relief.

Ocean Song stood there, arms clasped behind his back as his robes bellowed heroically. “Everything going according to plan.”

They all stared at him.

With a gesture from Hecate, he was sent flying off the mountain.