Only Wisdom Awakened - Chapter 215

Chapter 215: Existence
It was winter… the clear sky was dark as the sun had already set, and the cold winds that blew around the city stopped most of the people from going out.

While most families and people in Chicago remained inside their cozy and warm houses, a young man was out for a stroll, enjoying the cold breeze, and taking the chance to catch a breath of fresh air.

He was on a bridge that crossed the Chicago River, and he stood still, watching the water flow below him as a couple of people passed by behind him.

The loud chatter of a group of five boys reached his ears…

“Hey, I… don’t think that’s good for you”

Said one of them clearly trying to ridicule the phrase he had just said

As soon as was done speaking, all of the others burst into laughter, apart from one, who grabbed his shirt and, embarrassed, said:

“Hey! I just wanted to give her a piece of advice! Is there anything wrong with that?!”

“No, no”

A third replied.

“… you mush(must) really be a gweit(great) shiwalos(chivalrous) man”

He continued… almost tripping on nothing and barely walking without falling.

“Cone on man!! I told you you were letting yourself go a bit too much! It was your first time drinking alcohol and you’re already wasted…”

As he said those words the man who was previously embarrassed grabbed his friend’s arm and wrapped it around his neck, keeping almost all of his weight up.

“I’m forgiving you just this once because you’re drunk, but we’re going to settle this as soon as you come back to your senses”

Even though their words were cold and angered, Hans could feel nothing but affect.

It was a good group of friends, but as soon as they passed beside Hans the pungent spell of alcohol reached his nose, making him remember the night of his eighteenth birthday.

‘If nothing had happened…would I just be living a life like that? Maybe find a couple of friends, try to pursue a girl…

Will I ever be able to get a life like the others?

What happens once I’ve reached what I’ve been trying to accomplish for the past year?…

I don’t know why… right now I feel lonelier than usual.

Kenta left this world yesterday…

I managed to talk to him yesterday night, but the only thing I managed to understand is that he wasn’t as bad as I thought…

In a story… he would be something like a villain… maybe that’s why they say villains are always made and not born.

But… to tell the truth, calling him a villain would be wrong.

He was just… living in his own world.

Also, if I were to call him a villain, it would be like considering myself as a hero…

I am no hero… just another dude with a gift he has been granted by the heavens.

I… do not regret the decision I made.

He had gone completely mad, he also threatened Emily’s life.

Capturing someone like him, who can hide in the shadows whenever he wishes for it, would be an arduous task, and it would be impossible to find him again if he were to run away… in conclusion… he had to be killed.

However, this is just what my mind is saying, trying to find excuses for my weakness… I know, that if only I had enough power, it wouldn’t be difficult for me to suppress someone like him.’

“Sigh…

Mom… Dad… I miss you”

Having someone he could rely on… having someone he could ask for advice… was something Hans desperately needed at the moment.

That night, Hans passed by the hospital where his family was hospitalized and gave his greetings to his father.

“I will come again in a few days, however, afterwards I might… need to stay away for a bit… a few months maybe…

And when I come back… I hope I will have found a way to wake you all up.

Caelan had already pressed him about it during the last few days… it was time for the young man to improve his rank again…

“The eight circle… here I come”

Hans asked Ava for a facility he could use to advance, and she immediately arranged a place for him, in the meantime, Emily had already returned to work.

Her workload had increased greatly because of the absence of a branch leader, so, since for the time being, no one able to take the lead showed up, every employee in the association branch had to be assigned orders and tasks.

Hans was quietly meditating inside an empty white room.

Even if his thoughts were troubled by everything that had happened the few previous days, the progress was still going smoothly…

Carefully guiding the energy spread throughout his body into the shape of a new circle, the process was near its end just two days later.

But… something happened, hindering his progress.

All of a sudden, the dark power surrounding his heart started acting up…

The eighth circle he was trying to create had been connected with the strange power, and one after the other, all the already existing seven circles also faced the same problem.

His mana was being depleted at an alarming rate…

If he didn’t manage to stop this process, he could’ve lost all his hard-earned work… or even his life.

However, it was like trying to build a dam to stop a flowing river, now that the mana had begun being drained, it was many times more difficult.

Sweat covered Hans’s body, and the more time passed, the more his facial expression twisted…

It was not going well…

Thirty minutes from the beginning of the mana drainage, Hans’s mana… had been completely depleted.

Not only from his circles… but also from his body…

‘Thump, thump, thump… thump, thump.…

…

Thump…

Thump….

….

….

Thump-

…’

Along with the flow of energy in his body… his heart… stopped.

‘Mh…’

Hans mumbled, trying to open his eyes.

‘What… happened?

I remember I was trying to advance and then… ugh!’

Hans touched his head after feeling a strong headache, but as time passed, he began noticing that something was off.

Even if he opened his eyes, he could not see, even if he raised his hands, he could not feel the air, and even if he tried to move around his mama… He could not sense it.

It was as if… he did not exist.

There was just a… vast world of nothing…

‘Am I moving? I think I’m standing, or maybe I’m sitting, but I don’t feel anything beneath my feet, nor any weight above my shoulders… what is… going on here?’

He couldn’t feel anything, he had no idea of where he was, nor any idea of how he got there, even less, any idea on how to get out of there.

It was all alien to him.

That is when… he began to wonder.

He doubted… he doubted everything he had learned up till that point, he doubted his existence, his thoughts, his being, arriving at the point of doubting whether or not… reality existed, or it was just a thought, of a non-existent being such as himself.

Could he even call himself a being?

Could he even call himself a he? Or whatever else word humanity had made up for him…

Was humanity even… something that lived for itself? Or was the world as he knew it just a result of his fantasy? He wanted to think, he wanted to go further, but nothing came to mind… words, he needed more words, he needed more words to express more things.

There weren’t any words suitable to be used… he had to create them, but no matter how much he thought, and how much progress he made, he was still… Unable to recognize himself.

He began to forget… how much time had passed? Minutes? Hours? Maybe weeks… or maybe decades, he really couldn’t tell.

The only thing he could tell was… he had something to do… he had someone to save…

But… who? If he didn’t exist, then what did he need to do? Who did he need to save? It was all… worthle-

‘Snap out of it Hans!…

Snap… out of it!!’

Light…. He finally… saw something, his senses came back, and his doubts were cleared…

“What was it?… Something like…

I think… therefore I… am!”

At that moment, Hans watched below his feet, everything was still dark, but he felt as if he could perceive it… he felt it vividly, vividly enough to send a shiver down his spine.

It was something dark, almost as dangerous as the place he had just been to…

It was giving off a feeling of… excitement… no… euphoria!

“W-what… is this?!!”

It was strong… too strong, feeling that euphoria, Hans’s being was about to crumble, his existence was beginning to shake, and his mind became foggy.

Then… the pressure disappeared, and a deep, euphoric, and yet calm voice, was imprinted in his mind…

It was not a word, it was… the meaning of a thought…

but… if he had to put it into words, it was as if someone were to say….

How… amusing.