Only Wisdom Awakened - Chapter 274

Chapter 274: Tired
The old man apologized over and over again, and Hans watched him with a pitying gaze…

He would have liked to tell him it was all fine, he wanted to forgive him but..

Almost five years of his life… spent slaving away relentlessly while he could have lived like most other youngsters…

Spent alone while he could have had the warmth of his grandfather’s embrace.

It was difficult to forget.

However…

Hans was too tired to care.

He had found a member of his family after such a long time that even the pain and suffering he had caused him didn’t matter anymore.

Also, Hans had something else to say, and he feared the old man might have gone crazy if he didn’t comfort him a little bit.

With that, even if not completely sure, Hans interrupted the man’s apology as he said:

“It’s alright…

It’s in the past now, we have to think about the future”

the old man heard that phrase and remembered something he had long forgotten…

Many years had passed since that day of summer when he was leisurely walking around the streets of Milan.

Just beside him, his beloved wife was hastily eating a melting ice cream cone, trying to let even a single drop fall onto the ground…

He wore some sunglasses and he had let his beard grow, almost completely masking his face.

The same glasses were also worn by his wife, who instead of using a beard to mask her identity dyed her hair blonde.

it had almost been four months since their “deaths”, and they had just received the first clearance to go out for a walk.

“You know… Sometimes I feel like this might have been a bad idea, I’m worried about our girls… who knows how they’re living without us”

He commented.

“you shouldn’t worry so much, they had almost already stopped coming to see us before we died, they’re already grown up”

Even after hearing the reassuring words of his wife, a dubious expression was still painted on the man’s face…

“And as for Anna… Did we do the right thing?…”

This time, even his wife who always thought things would turn out for the better couldn’t give him an answer.

That question resounded in her head for a few minutes as they silently walked side by side, no one spoke until the woman was done with her ice cream cone when she threw the little paper napkin she had used to wipe her mouth into a little bin on the side of the streets, and she watched Gianfranco in the eyes…

The sunglasses covered her pupils, so she had to turn her head completely, but once she did, even without seeing her eyes, the man could tell something was disturbing her,

“I don’t know the answer to that dear… I am not entitled to call myself her mother anymore… after how I’ve treated her for her whole life…

I admit that…

From the moment I chose to become a lawyer and publicize what happened to me…

I had given up on my duty as a mother…

I had given up protecting her…

And as time passed, we grew more and more distant… all I could see in her eyes as she looked at me was hate.

But it wasn’t the same for you…

Watching you raise her made me think something along the lines of:

‘It’ll be fine… When she grows up she will understand… I will manage to get back my right to be a mother then…’

But I was wrong…. time passed and I aged as she grew… every time I took a few seconds to observe her she was taller and more mature, and every time I noticed… The distance between us seemed to have stretched…

Before I knew it… she had become an adult, and we were as close as perfect strangers who ate dinner at the same table once every couple of months.

What I’m trying to say is… time passes fast, too fast for any of us to have enough… and the older you are, the more it seems to be rushing…

Life might be too short to worry about everything… And sometimes, a few little steps might be what makes the difference…

Heh… I have realized it too late, but the only thing you can do to take these steps might just be to…

Forget about the past, and think for a second about the future.”

That phrase…

If only he had remembered that phrase earlier…

The old man covered most of his face as he faced the floor and lay his head on his hands which were supported by his knees.

‘How stupid…

Even after receiving your advice, I too… have realized it too late.’

The old man seemed to be already distraught enough…

But Hans had yet to reveal what he had discovered.

That moment of realization was interrupted by Hans’ serious tone:

“The reason I came here today… Was to tell you something, and also to say goodbye before I leave”

The old man slowly raised his chin… He watched the young boy with his eyes still lucid.

“I managed to discover something… Which might be a little bit too hard for you to take in… It’s regarding your daughter, my… aunt.”

The old man laid his head on his hands again as he closed his eyes… Talking in a low tone, almost whispering, he asked:

“did you discover what made her become what she was before dying?”

…

“I did”

…

“Did she have a good reason to do it…”

the old man squinted his eyes to block off some tears…

“Did she have a good reason to kill her?…”

Hans met another crossroad, but this time, choosing was pretty simple.

“Yes… It wasn’t her fault, someone made her do it”

Technically, what he said was the truth…

In the meantime somewhere inside the limitless darkness….

‘It’s lonely… How much time has passed…What is happening to me? Who… Am I?’

A voice reached out to this poor entity, enveloping her existence and soothing her never-ending loneliness.

“Anna she….”

‘That’s right… Anna, my name’s Anna Maglini… No, Anna Lumi’

“…Wasn’t a bad kid”

The voice was filling her thoughts.

‘What am I doing here? Where am I?’

“I still remember when we used to pass time together… I… I don’t know what made her change”

‘Who? Who is talking?’

The voice felt familiar… Comforting almost, as if it was… The voice of a parent.

‘Father?! Is that you?’

“When she… When she killed her mother…”

‘Mother? That’s right, I… I killed her’

“I Couldn’t recognize the sweet child I once raised, she had become… A beast”

‘No…. No, I… I wasn’t a beast!! You betrayed me! You tried to get rid of me! Why did you do that?!

Why?!”

“But… If the reason why she became a beast was because someone made her do it then….”

‘No! It’s your fault! You’re the one who made me into a beast! You and that woman!! And even my sister!! You all made me into a beast… I killed so many people just so that I could get to you!! Everything I did, I did it because of you!! If you didn’t do that I would have never become like this!’

She wanted to scream what she was thinking, but all she thought remained thoughts, never transforming into actual words.

“Then I forgive her”

The voice of the man as he said those words wasn’t only pained… It sounded like the old man was devastated…

‘Why?… Why does he sound like that?! Why should he forgive me?! What wrong have I done?!

I don’t accept it! Take your forgiveness back!!’

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?…. Why did it come to this?!

I just wanted to stay with you… my father.

Why did you have to leave? Why did you have to hide? Why did you have to hurt me?!’

Whhhyy?!’

But no matter how loud she creamed in her thoughts, she could not reach the other side… she could not reach that voice.

The walk that seemed to have crumbled when that voice reached her… had now been rebuilt, leaving her stuck in the darkness for the rest of eternity…

Hans opened his eyes looking at his grandfather…

He had just cut off the connection he had established with the darkness surrounding his heart.

‘That should be enough’

He thought.

That day, Hans left his grandfather’s house with a heavy heart…

He made his way to the airport in complete silence….

Did he do the right thing?

Probably…

He reached the airport and took a car to the airplane on the landing strip.

As he got up the vehicle through the stairs, the pilot caught a glimpse of the young man, after greeting him, he saw his empty face and asked:

“Is everything alright? You look pretty down”

Hans forced a smile slightly curving his lips as he replied:

“Yes… just a little tired”