Tangled in Moonlight: Unshifted - Chapter 188

Chapter 188: Ava: Mom’s Legacy (I)
Two days later, I’m back at Blackwood, with a few changes.

Like Jericho, and an entire security detail under his charge.

And Kellan, who seems like he’d rather eat shards of glass than be in his father’s presence.

All the new bodyguards are older wolves, with scars and a grim look in their eyes. Once retired, and brought back for my benefit.

Selene approves of all of them, saying their wolves all reached out to her.

Every single one of them is an upgrade from Tall Asshole—sorry, Alex—and Jason.

While these shifters must have a bad opinion of me as well, they don’t act like it. They treat me with complete professionalism.

It’s odd that they’re retired, considering how quickly they’ve jumped back into their roles. None of them seem old enough to have left active lifestyles behind.

I settle into Lucas’ room at the alpha lodge, surprised by how comfortable it feels despite my last stay being so brief. The familiarity washes over me as I unpack my meager belongings once again.

One of the guards, a grizzled shifter with a head full of gray hair that belies his muscular build, stands sentinel in the corner, while two more keep watch outside the door.

Because Sister Miriam entered my room before, they’re not leaving me alone anymore.

It’s unnerving, but I swallow the instinctive frustration at my lack of privacy.

The last time I fought back, people died.

My privacy isn’t worth more lives.

You seem at ease here, Selene observes, her voice tinged with curiosity. She lounges on the bed, her icy blue eyes fixed on me as I put my clothes into the dresser.

I pause, considering her words. With the guards already knowing Selene is my wolf (and despite the mild panic I feel at having her secret known by even more people), I’m free to converse with her as I please.

It really helps with that stuck in a gilded cage feeling. Especially because I know I can switch guards with a single word to Jericho. Having a little power over the situation really makes a difference, and I hate that I never considered asking for something like this the first time.

“I suppose I am. It’s strange, isn’t it? Considering everything that’s happened.”

Selene tilts her head. Weren’t you comfortable in Lucas’ room at Westwood?

The question catches me off guard. I chew on my lower lip, mulling over my response. “No,” I admit. “It didn’t feel like home there.”

And this does? Selene presses, her gaze intensifying.

Rubbing the tip of my nose, I glance around the room, taking in the dark interior once again.

There’s no reason I should feel so comfortable here. This building once housed Alpha Renard and his most trusted cronies. How many devious plans were decided upon within these walls?

How many horrors have begun under the auspice of this roof?

And yet, a part of me clings to this place.

Like I belong here.

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s just because I miss it here, no matter how terrible it was. I was born and raised here, you know.”

Selene hums wordless acknowledgement in my head.

Her uncharacteristic silence weighs on our bond and I glance at her, wondering how long this subdued version of my companion will persist. Vanessa’s words seem to have really messed with her; the impact they’ve had is out of the ordinary.

Ready to talk? I ask, closing the dresser drawer. My voice is soft, tentative. The last thing I want is to push Selene before she’s ready.

She doesn’t move from her spot on the bed, but her eyes flick to mine. I don’t know, she admits, her voice a whisper in my mind. Maybe.

Turning to the guard, I offer him a small smile. “Would you mind stepping outside for a bit? Maybe twenty minutes or so?”

His eyes narrow slightly, and I can see the hesitation in his posture.

But unlike before, I’m also in charge of my own security, and he knows it.

“I’ll be making periodic checks,” he warns, his voice gruff. “Every five minutes.”

“Of course,” I agree readily. “I appreciate your diligence.”

He nods, then steps outside, closing the door behind him with a soft click.

I abandon my unpacking, leaving the rest for later. Right now, Selene needs me.

Settling beside her, the mattress dips under my weight, sliding her furry body against my leg. She doesn’t move away, which I take as a good sign.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

Selene sighs, a sound that echoes through our bond. Too many memories are missing, she confesses. Or they’re murky, unclear. But I know they were once vivid. I could recall them with perfect clarity.

I frown, trying to understand. She’d mentioned her missing memories before, but I didn’t follow up—too busy in my own head, in my own revelations.

“I don’t really get it,” I admit, reaching out to stroke her fur. She leans into my touch, and I feel a flicker of comfort through our bond. “How can memories just… disappear?”

I was allowed to keep them, Selene explains, her voice distant, as if she’s lost in thought. In exchange for certain vows.

Vows? What kind of vows could a wolf make? And to whom?

Questions swirl in my mind, but I don’t voice them all. Not yet. Selene is opening up, and I don’t want to overwhelm her with my curiosity.

“What kind of vows?” I ask instead, keeping my tone gentle, encouraging.

Selene shifts, her fur brushing against my hand. I can’t remember, she admits, frustration lacing her voice. That’s the problem. I know I made them, but I can’t recall what they were.

Well, that makes things harder. “That must be really unsettling,” I murmur. “To know you’ve forgotten something so important.”

It is, Selene agrees. As though there’s a hole in my mind. A blank space where those memories should be.

“Do you have any idea what caused it?” I ask, trying to be helpful. “Did something happen to make the memories disappear?”

Selene is silent for a long moment, and I worry that I’ve pushed too far. But then she speaks, her voice barely a whisper in my mind.

I think it has something to do with you, she admits. With our bond.

Me? Our bond? How could I have anything to do with Selene’s missing memories?

“What do you mean?” I ask, trying to keep the surprise out of my voice. “Did I do something?”

No. If anything, I did. Her frustration is palpable through the link, so stifling that I almost pound at my chest to get rid of the heaviness there. Only it isn’t mine; it’s from her end of my mind.

“Okay then, what do you remember?”

I remember flashes of my past life. I remember being given a choice, and meeting your soul. I remember choosing to come here. And I remember swearing vows in return for my memories. Until I met with you, I remembered them all.

“So you knew everything… until we came together?”

Yes.

“How can you remember knowing, but not remember what you know?”

I don’t know.

It’s like going in circles. No wonder she’s been so quiet. “You were always very cryptic from the beginning, so it doesn’t feel very different to me.”

Her ears perk up at that. Some things are not for you to know, at least not yet.

“Why?”

It is the natural order. I am outside of that order, and so is the knowledge I possess. Otherwise, the balance of this world can fall.

As much sense as that makes, it’s just… frustrating. “Are you saying you knew the horrible things that would happen ahead of time?”

Of course not. Her tail flicks against the comforter. I am not all-knowing.