Tangled in Moonlight: Unshifted - Chapter 92

Chapter 92: Ava: Clearing the Air (II)
My stomach churns, and I get through the rest of the words as quickly as I can. “My heat was uncontrollable, and I had sex with the alpha there. He took care of me and Phoenix kidnapped me when I was shopping with his sister. No, we aren’t mated, but we aren’t strangers, either.”

There.

It’s out.

I peek at Lucas to see his reaction, but he’s just sitting there, his eyes unfocused.

It’s obvious that he’s taking some time to process everything.

My eyes drop to our linked hands, and I wonder if I should pull away before he does.

“Huh,” he says, and squeezes my fingers.

Of all the responses I’d been expecting, that one isn’t on my list.

“Lucas?”

He smiles at me, a lopsided little one. “I’m going to need a little time to process all this. I don’t understand how you can go into heat without a wolf, for one. But I’m not angry, Ava.”

I narrow my eyes in suspicion. “That doesn’t seem right.”

He sighs. “I’m… disappointed. In the situation, in how I put you there. In the way things could have gone but didn’t, because of me. I’m angry at myself, and I have to think about things a bit. But I’m not upset with you, Ava. I don’t want to leave with you thinking that this changes anything on my end.”

He lifts our linked hands to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against my knuckles that has my belly fluttering. “I know that you haven’t chosen us yet. I know that there’s a lot more that you haven’t told me. I know that I fucked up. And I’m not going to do it again, not when you’re right here. I’ve already lost you twice. I’ll never let it happen again. Do you understand?”

His golden eyes are intense. Despite the roughness to his voice, his words are calm and unhurried as he speaks.

I nod.

“Thank you,” I whisper, finally feeling some of the stress ease from my body.

He isn’t angry with me.

“I might have to punch Clayton for touching what’s mine, though.”

“I wasn’t—he didn’t—”

“It’s a joke, Ava.”

But he doesn’t really sound like he’s joking, so I stare at him in doubt.

He sighs, and kisses my fingers again. “Ava. I fucked up, right?”

I nod.

“Are you willing to give me a chance?”

I nod, again.

“I’m not expecting anything to happen overnight. I know that we’re both pushed together by this bond, but I want more than that. I want you, heart and soul, with everything inside of you begging to be mine. I want to know that you would choose me even if there was no bond between us. I want there to be no questions, no secrets, and no regrets.”

His words send a quiver of longing straight through my body, and tears to my eyes.

“I can’t have that if I’m going to run around like a feral wolf, snarling about how some other guy touched my mate. I’m the one who lost the right to call you that. I’m the one who pushed you into a situation where you were alone, vulnerable, and in heat. I’m the one who deserves all the anger. Okay?”

I nod as a tear escapes, feeling a little like a puppet on a string. I don’t know how else to respond except to nod mindlessly at his words.

“I hurt you. I hurt you a lot. You need to have your chance to be angry with me. Don’t feel obligated toward me, toward us, just because I took you out of that place. I want more than obligation toward our fate, Ava. I want your love.”

I can feel warmth flushing into my cheeks as he presses another kiss against my fingers, before turning my hand over to nuzzle his mouth against my open palm.

His words are sweet, but his actions are stirring a desire that’s far from innocent.

“Lucas—”

“Shh.” His tongue darts out to taste my skin, and his groan sends quivers straight into the very core of me. I shift beneath the blanket, wondering how we’ve gone from emotional admissions two seconds ago to this.

“I’m not going to push you,” he murmurs against my skin, pressing kiss after kiss into my palm. “But if I want to keep that promise, I’m going to have to walk away from you right now. Fuck. My wolf is going insane. He doesn’t want to talk anymore. He’s been crazy about you since the beginning.”

I reach out with my other hand, gently touching his disheveled hair. “Don’t go yet.”

There’s a yellow glint in his amber eyes. His wolf is here, straining for control. Lucas nips at my wrist, pulling back with a sigh, and I feel empty with the extra space between us.

He hasn’t even kissed me properly, and I’m this much of a mess.

“I’ll try to keep him in control,” he mutters, and I shake my head.

“It’s fine. Our bond is always going to be there.”

“I don’t want it influencing you into something you’re unhappy with.”

Confusion has me tilting my head. “Isn’t it influencing you, too, then, by your own logic?”

He growls and leans forward, slamming his mouth against mine in a rough and desperate kiss. Letting desire loose is a relief on my heart, and I open my lips against the invasion of his tongue without a moment of hesitation, sliding my hands through his hair with a soft moan of assent.

It’s a rough kiss, a claiming one, that suddenly softens its approach as his brain catches up to his mate instincts. Pecking soft kisses against my lips, which already feel swollen, he murmurs my name, over and over, like a priest to prayer.

I nuzzle against him, ignoring the pain in my abdomen as I try to get closer.

“Ava,” he says again on a soft sigh, pressing tiny kisses against the corners of my mouth. “I don’t care if I’m influenced. I’ll never have enough of you. Never. Don’t doubt me for a second. I’ll happily be enslaved to our bond for the rest of my life. There are no regrets for me, as long as you’re here.”