The Alpha's Fated Outcast: Rise Of The Moonsinger. - Chapter 223

Chapter 223: Clarissa…
Clarissa

What if love wasn’t about leaving, but about staying – no matter the cost?

What if the person you adored carried dark, dangerous secrets, but instead of running, you found yourself drawn in even deeper?

They say love makes you blind. But what if it makes you see everything – every dark secret, every twisted deed – and you choose to stay anyway?

I’ve loved Nathan for as long as I can remember. At first, I thought it was because he chose Lyla over me. But it wasn’t jealousy that kept me joined to the hip with him—it was the thrill, the fascination that grew each time I uncovered a part of him no one else saw.

I didn’t fall in love with Nathan because he was perfect – he’s far from that. I fell in love with him because I was the only one who saw his imperfections. Each time fate made me witness his darkest moments, each terrible secret I discovered, it only pulled me deeper under his spell.

While others saw the charming Alpha heir obsessed with Lyla, I alone saw the monster beneath the mask – and goddess! That monster was beautiful.

Call it madness, delusion of grandeur – loving a man capable of such things. But the first time I had stumbled on him lying next to his dead mother and weeping uncontrollably despite how it was taboo to do so to the dead, and how he would lay next to her each night… I knew he used to see me but wouldn’t say anything.

When he opens to door to where she laid embalmed, he’ll keep it half opened and I would spend the night with him. I felt special. Chosen. Like the universe itself was conspiring to show me the real Nathan, the one no one else would believe existed.

All the times, he had confided in me, or I had helped him bury his blood-stained clothes or help treat his cuts or run errands for him… instead of fear, it only made me fall harder.

I know he doesn’t love me. Not yet. But that doesn’t matter if everyone loved the people who loved them back, who will hurt? Who will be broken? Who will be bitter? More than anything, what matters more to me is that he belongs to me. Only I understand the darkness that lives inside him.

Only I can him for what he truly is.

And I’ll make sure he never belongs to anyone else.

~~~

I sat at the vanity in our room carefully brushing out my long dark locs cascading over my shoulders like silk. A small smile played on my lips as I heard the heavy stomping of boots coming towards the room.

Nathan was angry.

He only stomped like that when he was furious and I knew exactly why – my brother, the baby in my mother’s womb, had survived despite every force working against it, the child had been brought into the world, breathing and alive.

I watched through the mirror as he stormed in, grunting in frustration as he shrugged off his jacket, throwing it carelessly to the floor. He peeled off his shirt next, his muscles flexing with tension before he stalked into the bathroom. The sound of the shower running filled the room.

Since I was done, I went to the bed, and settled on the covers, pretending to read a book. A while later, the sound of running water stopped and he came out of the bathroom with a white towel wrapped loosely around his waist, beads of water trailing down his defined torso.

I barely glanced at him, keeping my eyes on the book as I turned a page absentmindedly pretending to be engrossed, even though I wasn’t reading a single word.

I didn’t spare him a glance. His nakedness was nothing new, just as his cold silence had become a routine. Most days, he would only grunt at my words and nothing more.

The sheer blue lingerie I wore was so transparent that it left little to the imagination, but I focused on my book. I felt rather than saw him stop in front of me, likely expecting me to look up to acknowledge him or attempt a conversation. Normally, I would. Normally, I would have made some teasing remark or tried to draw him into conversation.

But tonight, I refused to give him what he wanted. I flipped the pages of my book with deliberate casualness while my heart raced with satisfaction.

After a moment, he exhaled and turned away, walking toward our closet. When he returned, he was putting on a pyjama bottom and was shirtless. Instead of heading to his room or the couch or pacing as he often did, he surprised me – he climbed into our bed.

My heart skipped a beat.

My pulse was already racing but I maintained a façade of indifference.

The only time Nathan had slept beside me was our wedding night. Our marriage had been a performance since he told me he would never love me. He shared our bed in name, but never in truth.

I remained where I was, flipping another page, though the words blurred. The only sound in the room was the faint rustling of turning pages.

I knew he wasn’t sleeping either.

After an eternity, I rose and walked to the bathroom. Once inside, I leaned against the sink, staring at my reflection.

A man will always seek comfort when his plans – plans he had been so sure of, fall apart and Nathan was no different.

Tonight’s success hung on a delicate balance. The probability of us sleeping together was fifty-fifty. On one hand, I was dressed like Lyla – the way she styles her hair, the sheer blue lingerie that clung to my curves and even the scent I had carefully applied, imitating the scent of Lyla’s heat.

On the other hand, if I acted like myself, like Clarissa – if I questioned him, tried to comfort him, or attempted to get inside his head – he would shut me out completely. Lyla never asked questions. Lyla never pushed. Lyla wouldn’t even notice if the person beside her was dying.

I took a deep breath, studying my reflection and nodding in approval before washing my hands and reapplying Lyla’s scent. When I returned, he was sitting in bed and his eyes were fixed on the bathroom door.

I ignored his gaze as I slid beneath the covers, fully aware of the way his eyes lingered on me. Was he admiring my body through the sheer fabric? Was he debating whether or not to touch me?

He cleared his throat. I gave him the briefest glance before returning to my book.

“Did I do something?” he finally asked with uncertainty.

I turned to him again, held his gaze for a moment, and then shrugged. “Nothing. Did something happen? Did you do anything?”

He stared at me, his brows furrowing slightly before sighing heavily and leaning back against the headboard. We were silent for a while before he broke it again.

“How’s your mother and the baby?”

“They’re fine,” I answered coolly. “Thanks to you, they were able to perform the surgery in time and saved them both.”

Silence again.

“Where did you go? The maids said you weren’t around?”

I shrugged. “You know, just here and there.

“Here and there where exactly?” his voice carried a dangerous edge.

I ignored him, continuing to read. In a flash, he reached over and snatched the book from my hands, hurling it across the room. “Am I not talking to you?” he growled.

I scoffed, rising from the bed. Then strolled across the room, deliberately bending down to pick up the book, making sure my body was positioned perfectly for him to see.

“Don’t you fucking try to seduce me,” he snarled. “Tell me where you went!”

I straightened, meeting his gaze with cool amusement. “You wish Nathan Tanner.” I tilted my head. “I’m not even trying to seduce you. You’re not worth the trouble. Maybe if you spent more time in our matrimonial bed, you’d know this is how I dress every night.”

His expression darkened. In two strides, he was on me, his hand on my throat as he pinned me to the wall.

“Where the fuck did you go?”

I only laughed. “Why do you care so much?” I whispered. “Let me go…or do you want to hit me like before?”

Something in his eyes shifted as regret and contrition flickered through them. His grip loosened instantly, his fingers twitching before he pulled away entirely.

“I didn’t hit you, Clarissa,” he muttered looking away. “I’m sorry if it seemed like that.”

I smoothed my throat, my lips curving in mock amusement. “You raised your hand at me, Nathan. That’s the same thing.”

His jaw worked as he exhaled heavily. Then, surprisingly, he moved closer, cupping my face in his hands. That was when I saw it – Lust. Finally!.

“I’m sorry, okay?” his voice was softer now, almost pleading. “Please…”

He bent toward me, his lips a breath away from mine.

But I moved, slipping away from his hold as I went behind him, creating distance between us.

When he turned, I saw the shocked expression on his face.

“What do you want, Nathan?” I asked feigning offence.