The Alpha's Fated Outcast: Rise Of The Moonsinger. - Chapter 25

Chapter 25: Everybody had a first…
Nathan

Everybody had a first – first kiss, first hug, first love but my first was different from most people’s though. They weren’t just about romantic moments or milestones. All my firsts were about Lyla.

Lyla had been my first in everything before she knew it. She had been the first person to comfort me after my mother died when I was just Ten. I still remember the emptiness I had felt sitting alone in my bedroom for days.

My dad had been in too much grief from losing her and couldn’t comfort me. I didn’t cry, I just stared at the wall in my room, unable to understand why she couldn’t come back after going to the pack hospital to have my baby brother.

My father, afterwards tried his best to pull me out of my misery but soon, the responsibilities of being a Beta of the pack weighed in on him and he hadn’t been available to console me. But Lyla had been there.

At first, I had ignored her, wallowing in my grief, but she didn’t give up. She stayed with me in silence, refusing to leave until I let her in. She pulled me out of my misery in a way no one else could.

To me, she had always been more than just the daughter of the Alpha. She had been like my mother, mothering me in her own way; my friend and my first love, though I never dared to tell her.

As we grew older into our teenage ages, my feelings for her only deepened. The day I felt Ragnar my wolf, he had begged me to tell her how much he felt. She wasn’t our mate but he loved her but I held back. I couldn’t risk losing my friendship with her.

Although, she had never kissed me, never hugged me in a way that showed anything beyond friendship, it didn’t matter to me. She was still my first love, my only love.

That was why, my heart broke seeing how much she was in pain even if she wasn’t showing it, I felt helpless, unable to reach out to her as she did me.

~~~

I nodded, taking her suitcase from her, and glancing back at her parents who had gone back to their seats. I could see the pain on her face but I knew she needed space.

We drove in silence until Ragnar nudged me silently.

“Look, she doesn’t have Ramsey’s mark on her neck again.”

I turned, my heart leaping to my chest when I saw she had removed it. Erasing any physical connection to Ramsey.

For the first time since I found out her mate was Ramsey, I felt hope flicker in my heart. If she no longer bore Ramsey’s mark, didn’t that mean she had given up on him? That she no longer wanted him? Maybe this was the chance I had been waiting for.

“Tell her how you feel, Nathan,” Ragnar urged me. “She’s going to the human world, tell her how she makes you feel.”

I glanced over at her to see tears streaming down her cheeks, her body shaking with silent sobs. I wanted to pull over and comfort her, to take her into my arms. But I didn’t. Instead, I kept driving, my eyes stinging with unshed tears.

“We can’t Ragnar!” I sighed inwardly “She’s in too much pain already.”

When we finally reached the boundary between the human world and the werewolf realm, I stopped the car, my chest tightening as I looked over at her with a sad smile. I knew what was coming and I hated it.

We stayed silently until she had finished crying. I passed her my handkerchief, nodding in response as she muttered her thanks. We remained silent again until I spoke.

“Are you going to be okay?” I whispered, reaching for her hand and squeezing it comfortingly.

She nodded, wiping her eyes again as she sniffed. “Yeah,” she said tearfully. “I’ll be fine. I’m sorry for being such a crybaby.”

My heart broke at her statement. She had every right to cry, after everything she had been through. I wanted to tell her then, I wanted to pour out my heart, to confess my feelings. To tell her she didn’t have to leave, that I would protect her and that I would always be here for her. But the words wouldn’t come. Instead, all I could say was.

“I wish you wouldn’t go, Lyla. You could stay with me and my dad. He’s barely at home. If you’re worried about things being awkward. He’s on a trip overseas for some meeting. Please, don’t go.”

“Nathan!” she said softly gazing out of the window “It’s not just my parents I’m running from. I want to put enough distance between me and Ramsey. He’ll be marrying Cassidy soon and I don’t think…” she trailed off her voice shaky. “I don’t think I can stand the pain of watching him with her. He was so cruel to me, Nathan. The mate bond doesn’t mean anything to him.”

“I’m sorry!” I sighed but I wasn’t sorry. I was glad that she was leaving that pompous fool. I felt bad, after all, she was my best friend but Ramsey didn’t deserve someone like her.

“Nothing will change,” she sighed giving me a weak smile “Every month I have to put up with my heat and I shouldn’t be around you or anyone else. Do you understand?”

I nodded, “I’ll miss you, Lyla.”

“I’ll miss you too, Nathan. Thank you for being my friend after all these years. I’ll never forget you.”

“I’m not your friend, Lyla!” I exhaled, wishing I could hold her in my hands. “I am your best friend and that means we share everything; the good and the bad. It’s okay to lean on me when you get tired of being too strong.”

“I know!” she smiled again. “I won’t ever forget that.”.

We stepped out of the car, the cool night air was nothing compared to how I felt inside. I stood awkwardly for a moment, gathering courage. Ragnor’s voice came to me again.

“It’s worth it, Nathan. You’ll never know if she feels the same way or not. What’s the worst that can happen?”

“Lyla, there’s something I want to tell you,” I started, stepping towards her.

She turned, her eyes gazing at me curiously. “Sure, what’s up?”

“I…” I trailed off, looking for the right words. “I just wanted to say…” I swallowed hard, “That I…” The shrill sound of my phone pierced through the air, making us jump back in surprise.

“It’s my stupid alarm,” I muttered, hurrying back to the car, to stop the noise.

When I came back, she already had her suitcase with her, and her tear-stained cheeks shone in the soft evening sun. Her eyes were bleak… I’d be a monster if I burden her with my confession. It could wait.

“You were going to say something, what was it?” she asked cocking her brows at me.

“If… if you don’t mind,” I said the first thing that popped into my mind. “Could I hug you? I mean, your parents didn’t, and … well, I just thought…”

Before I could finish, she nodded eagerly. “Yes, Nathan. I’d love that. Please.”

I walked towards her, my heart pounding. She came towards me too, eyes filled subtly with amusement – the good type I think. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close. The warmth of her body against mine sent a flood of emotions through me – love, protectiveness, longing. I held her tightly, wishing I could take away all her pain, wishing I could keep her with me forever.

“This is our first hug as best friends,” I murmured, the words slipping out before I could stop them.

She pulled back slightly, looking up at me with surprise, and then laughed. It was a small, sad laugh, but still, it brought a smile to my face. I pulled back too, scratching my head.

“Then, let’s make it a tradition,” she said her eyes twinkling happily. “We’ll hug every time we see each other from now on until we’re both old and grey. How about that?”

I nodded, trying to ignore the lump in my throat, my heart swelling with affection. “It’s a deal,” I said. “And I promise, I’ll get clearance to access the human world soon. I’ll come visit you. I swear.”

“I know,” she said with a sad smile.

“Promise me too…” I continued feeling my voice shake, “That you’ll keep in touch. Lyla, for Moon’s sake, please pick up my calls, and text me back when you see my messages. You can call me in the middle of the night and I will do anything you want me to do, okay? I swear… you’re not alone in this. I want to share your pain… uhm?”

She nodded severally and came into my hands this time around, pressing herself to me in a hug. “I promise, Nathan. You and Nanny – you’re the only ones I have left. How cannot keep in touch?”

We stood there, in each other’s arms for a moment longer, neither wanting to be the first to let go. But finally, she stepped back, picking up her suitcase.

“Goodbye, Nathan,” she said softly. “Thank you for everything.”

I forced a smile trying to be strong for her. “This isn’t goodbye.” I insisted. “It’s just… see you later.”

She didn’t say anything, she smiled and nodded but I could see the sadness in her eyes and for a moment, I feared that this goodbye might be more permanent than either of us wanted to admit.

I watched as she turned and walked away, her figure growing smaller as she crossed the boundary into the human world.

Only when she had disappeared from sight did I allow my smile to falter.