The Alpha's Fated Outcast: Rise Of The Moonsinger. - Chapter 98

Chapter 98: I am glad my father died…
Lyla.

After I was done greeting the last of the guests, I and my mother and sister made our way into the hall. I took a deep breath as I entered, scanning the room for my seat. To my dismay, I noticed that my assigned spot was next to Ramsey.

My heart sank as I scanned the rows of chairs, looking for an open one but the only one available was the one next to Ramsey.

Steeling myself, I walked over. He sat straight and dignified, his amber eyes catching my movements as I approached. Nodding to me slightly, he acknowledged me, his gaze lingering a beat too long or maybe it was my imagination.

I settled on the space and tried to concentrate, to ignore him but the heat radiating from his presence next to me was impossible to miss. As our thighs brushed, an electric jolt passed through me pooling in my lower belly, making it hard to focus on anything else.

Soon, Beta Jeremy climbed the stage to commence the funeral. First, he thanked everyone who attended and also recounted all the activities that we would be doing today. Then, he began to talk about father.

“Alpha Logan was a fierce protector of our pack,” he started, his voice filled with reverence. “But he was also a man of great humour and warmth.” Then he launched into tales of stories revolving around my father.

Recounting his warmth, his kindness, how he couldn’t bear to pass by someone who was suffering and for a moment, it felt like I was in an alternate universe… or maybe the wrong father had died because the Alpha Logan I grew up to… was none of these things being mentioned.

The subtle hatred had always been there right from when I knew nothing. It was always the way he treated Clarissa differently from me. Gave her the nice toys, basically, anything she asked for why I was made to inherit her old toys or get second grade one or most times, none at all.

It was always in the extra effort he would put up for my sister and none for me. So, who exactly was Beta Jeremy talking about? The man that had sat there and allowed his child to walk away but because he was too proud, he didn’t try to stop her. He didn’t act like the parent.

The man who had watched me struggle with my heat every single month, rather than offering support, had antagonized me the more and had repeatedly called me a failure.

I rolled my eyes when someone in the hall, sniffed back tears at Beta Jeremy’s recount. One by one, others rose to speak, each person sharing fond memories and heartfelt eulogy. I didn’t know if they were lying because you literally cannot say bad things about dead people or if this was who my dad really was. Or maybe the version of him I got wasn’t the nice one. I didn’t know what to think.

I was getting angry, so angry that I could feel tears begin to cloud my vision. How could he possibly be all of these sweet things but yet, he treated me worse than a stranger? I wondered, my frustration mounting with each passing second.

Then, it was my turn.

I rose on shaky legs, my gaze sweeping across the sea of sombre faces. I wasn’t shy about taking the stage. Back in the human world, I’ve presented in front of larger crowds but humans were more merciful when it comes to dealing with people.

I’ve seen a speaker go mute because of a panic attack when he once climbed the stage but instead of mocking and calling him incompetent, the crowd cheered for him. If it were in our world, in the presence of these judgemental gazes and scheming hearts, he would never stand a chance.

I approached the stage, feeling a thousand pairs of eyes on me. Clutching the speech I had prepared – carefully, crafted lies. I forced myself to stand tall, my hands trembling slightly. I’d written kind words for the occasion, but staring at them… with the words swimming before my eyes, each line feeling like me confessing that I was a fraud….

This is a farce. It’s not who he was – not really.

I couldn’t bring myself to say these nice things about a man who had treated me as though I was invisible.

My gaze swept across the crowd and landed on Nathan. He nodded to me mouthing “You’ve got this”.

They were just words, right? And all I had to do was read it out but the resentment and bitterness I’ve harboured all these years… that have taken deep roots in my heart felt too heavy.

I was beginning to waste people’s time now.

So, I cleared my throat, and opened my mouth, willing myself to say something – anything.

“My father… My father…” I began but the words were lodged in my chest, choked by an overwhelming wave of anger and grief. “I’m glad he died…” I heard myself say.

The crowd gasped as everyone stared at me wide-eyed. I had let my intrusive thoughts win. “No… no…” I raised my hands placatingly. “That’s not what I meant,” I stammered, trying to collect myself. Angry tears pricked at my eyes and swiped at them, cursing at my weakness.

“I’m just… being so emotional. What I wanted to say is… my father, Alpha Logan Woodland is…was…. A g…” I trailed off shaking my head. “I’m sorry,” I choked out tightening my grip on the paper. “I just … I don’t know how to put into words what he meant to me… especially to me.” I took another deep steadying breath, but the tears were following down my cheeks unbridled.

“Who am I kidding?” I chuckled sadly “I don’t think I can do this. I’m sorry for wasting your time. I should go now.”

I turned, hurriedly stepping off the stage when my heel caught on the hem of my dress causing me to stumble forward. I braced myself for the impact – as if I hadn’t embarrassed myself enough. But just before I reached the ground, strong arms enveloped me.

It was Nathan.

He steadied me, cupping my face, and cleaning my tears as he looked at me with concern. “Hey… it’s okay. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”

My eyes darted to Ramsey, who sat there, doing nothing and I felt another surge of annoyance pass through me. I took a step back from Nathan’s arms brushing his hand away, even though my cheeks were flushed with embarrassment.

I could practically hear my father’s voice now, reminding me how much misfortune I had brought to him by being his daughter.

“I’m fine,” I managed, taking another step backwards as Nathan tried to reach for me. I could see the hurt in his eyes but I was too overwhelmed to care. “I just need… I need some air.” Without another word, and without another glance at anyone, I bolted out of the hall, as fresh tears streamed down my face.

To the visitors… this would be an eyesore… but to members of Blue Ridge… to my mother and my sister… to Ramsey… oh especially to him… this was me just being me. The reason why he had rejected me and chosen another woman.

Even me… I didn’t want myself for anyone.