The Fate Of The World Is In My Hands, But All I Want To Do Is Eat! - Chapter 120
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- Chapter 120 - Chapter 120 I feel so
Chapter 120: I feel so…
lonely Chapter 120: I feel so…
lonely It was all in the past.
Well, another life, should be a better way to explain it.
Diane’s death, her lovers, her smile and happiness, her tears and heartaches…
They were all in another life that she wished she could not remember.
But at that moment, she wished she did.
Maybe if she was well aware of the things she passed through, the people she met along the way, and the struggles she faced.
Maybe if she knew them well, she would be able to handle whatever would come without any issues.
And the feelings she had in her heart…
Maybe she would be able to understand them very clearly and know how to handle them.
Love?
She never had thoughts of them till now.
She never even knew what it felt like.
She could not understand the concept, always finding it complex and cruel; each time she saw a guy and a girl getting into a fight, cursing at each other, crying, and then hugging to make up all of a sudden.
It was strange and to be honest, she found them funny.
Love was unimaginable, strange, and funny.
But she could admit that when they hugged, making up for cursing at each other, the joy in their faces was enviable.
That joy…
What did it feel like?
Her mind never went to the comfort one felt from a hug, but that they had a connection that made them comfortable in each other’s arms.
Love that she could not and never would understand.
To think she had experienced it in her past life, and not just with one guy, but with different guys.
Devon, Mark and who were the others?
She had so much love to give?
Her heart was so big that she wanted someone to occupy it?
Why did that sound like she was desperate for love and comfort?
It sounded so unlike her.
She couldn’t understand it, no matter how she looked at it.
Alice felt like she was floating in a sea of nothingness.
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The waves were what guided her, taking her to nowhere lands, if it ever existed, because everything around her was nothing but water.
She was alone but luckily not sinking.
She stared at the foggy sky, seeing no sign of the sun or the moon.
The waves crashed gently into her body, calming her and soothing the hole in her chest, where her heart was supposed to be.
The sea seemed to be taking her from the grasp of every living creature.
‘I feel so…
Lonely.’ she thought, gently and slowly fluttering her eyelashes as she blinked.
What was she doing again?
She couldn’t remember.
But…
Why did it feel like there was something she needed to do?
Something very important.
It was weighing on her shoulder, and her hands were feeling heavy with it, but she couldn’t see it.
What was it?
What was the important thing she wanted to do?
She closed her eyes.
Well, since she couldn’t remember, there was no need to force herself.
She could just keep drifting away and enjoy the soothing feeling of being alone.
It was calm and peaceful…
Just like she wanted.
“Alice!” Diane’s voice called and her eyes shot open.
Where…
Where was she?
She wondered and looked around.
She was in a familiar area.
It was the wall mart very close to Big Stach’s den.
She stared at the signboard that was missing an ‘M’.
Their location has always been poor but she did not remember the wall Marts ‘M’ coming off.
The last time she saw it, it was perfectly intact.
“Did someone cause trouble and pull it off?” She wondered, only to get poked in the face with a Popsicle ice cream.
She turned to find Diane with her hair up in a bun.
It was dyed completely black, unlike her natural hair color which was black and orange.
“Why are you spacing out?” Diane asked.
“Here, I got you the sweetest one.
You gotta lick it fast so we can get back.
Big Stach doesn’t know we sneaked out, remember?” Alice was still stunned and confused.
Did she ever go out to grab ice cream with Diane?
No, never.
In the first place, she never grabbed ice cream by herself after she was taken in by Big Stach, so what was this?
And then, a response that she did not even come up with escaped her lips, like it had been programmed.
“Oh, I know.
Let’s not end up dead on such an auspicious day.” Alice said and tore the Popsicle from its sachet with a silly smile.
“Thanks.” Alice was surprised.
Why did she say that?
And what was this auspicious day she was talking about?
And that was when she realized that this might’ve either been a dream or a memory.
It was more likely the latter.
A memory of Alice and Diane in her past life.
For crying out loud, why was she given this memory?
It just made her wonder how she and Diane got close to that extent.
“Say, Alice, you’re 19 now.” Diane said.
“We’ve managed to fool Big Stach for an entire year that you aren’t up to 18 since you have such a small frame, but I think Jack will catch on soon.
He’s been keeping an eye on you.” “Don’t worry, Diane.
I plan to run tonight.” Alice said quite nonchalantly.
“I don’t plan to get tasted by that vermin, and I’ve learned the ropes.
Half of the world is home, so if we can leave the country right away, they’ll never catch us cause of the poor connections.” “W-we?” Diane tilted her head causing Alice to laugh.
“What?
Did you think I was going to leave you behind?” She smirked.
“Who’s gonna bargain chips with me if you’re not there?” Diane slowly bowed her head.
She should’ve been happy.
In fact, if Alice had told her that a few days ago, then maybe she would’ve jumped for joy and planned meticulously with her, but…
Not now.
Not when her absence would spell trouble for Alice.
“Alice, I need to tell you something.” Diane said, and Alice gave her full attention.
“Yeah?
What’s up?” The words felt hard to declare and Diane gulped back.
What was she going to do?
“I…” Alice’s phone rang and she picked it up.
She stared at her cracked and partially blinded screen and saw it was a message from one of their roommates.
The henchmen were looking for Diane.
Alice raised her head and asked, “Diane, it seems you’ve been caught.” She said and watched Diane bite her lip as if she already knew about this.
“Wait, what did you want to say to me?” Alice asked, hoping it wasn’t that but Diane squatted down, folding her arms on her knees and looking like she had hit a rock.
The popsicle melted, dripping on the floor, till there was none left before Diane spoke up.
“Two days ago, Jack came to our room.
You were on a mission then.” She started explaining.
“He knew one of us was going to have our birthday today and he was certain it was above 18, so he asked to call her name.” She covered her face and Alice’s heart thumped against her rib cage.
No, it couldn’t have been what she was thinking.
Diane had no reason to do that.
“So I said it was me.” Diane said, causing Alice’s heart to drop.
“I said I was turning 18 today.” She raised her gaze to look at Alice remorsefully.
“We’ve both hidden our real age for an entire year, and I knew we would get caught soon.
So…
I was prepared for it.” Alice dug her fingers through her hair.
“Diane, why?” “I would get caught either way.” Diane said, trying to act like it didn’t matter.
“You and I are both lying about our age.
I just didn’t expect you would be found out sooner than me.
And I…
I wanted to set an example.” “What example, for fucks sake?
You’re going to get laid by trash.
They’ll taste you and treat you like an animal.
What example did you…?” She covered her face.
“Fuck!” “It’s scary, we all know that.” Diane continued.
“But I thought, if I could go in there and come out without having my mind torn apart, then I would have no worries letting you go in there.
And if otherwise, if I get traumatized,” she turned her face away.
“I would encourage you to run as fast as you can.” Alice was speechless.
Who asked her to act like the righteous hero?
Why was she sacrificing herself for her?
No one asked her to.
No one asked her to do such a foolish thing.
Just why?
Her heart ached.
“Well, no matter what happens, I want you to run either way.” Diane said and stood to her feet, tossing the popsicle stick away.
“Go and be free.
Don’t look back.” “No!” Alice also stood up and grabbed her hand.
“We’re going to leave, you and me.
And we’re going to do it tonight before they even try to taste you!” She looked at Diane with firm and determined eyes.
“Alice, you’re taking a risk and a burden by trying to take me with you.” She pointed out.
“Do I look like I give a fuck?!” Her eyes twitched.
“I’m taking you with me and that’s that.
Wait for me here.
I’ll go pick up our things and get back here.
Let’s run away while we still have the chance, you and me.” Alice did not wait for her response and let go of her hand.
That feeling of letting go of her hand became the most disheartening thing Alice ever experienced.
It weighed on her heart like giant, heavy boulders, crushing her and making her regret her actions.
She cried and wished that she could turn back the time, even by an hour.
If she could do that, then she would never have let go of Diane’s hand.
CREATORS’ THOUGHTS Author_fredah And we’ll see that titles were and are given to a specific group of people, including her
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