The Novel’s Antagonist: I walk the path of a Villain - Chapter 51

Chapter 51: Buried Emotions

“Haah…” Ryan sighed deeply as he stepped out of the bathroom, the cool air brushing against his damp skin.

“Tsk. When will that bastard get me out of this rat hole?” he muttered, his gaze falling on the dilapidated room he’d been stuck in for the past four days. The peeling paint, creaky floorboards, and faint musty odor made it painfully clear—this was no place fit for human habitation.

[Ding!]

The familiar chime drew his attention to his water-resistant Meta-watch. Glancing at the display, his brow furrowed deeply.

[Message from Selena: Ryan, would you stop ignoring… [+99]]

Another sigh escaped him.

He trudged over to the bunk bed, grabbing his clothes for the day. The weekend had passed in a blur, and he hadn’t stepped out even once. Instead, he’d spent the time expanding his mana pool and purifying his core. It was only a matter of time before he broke through to the next level.

“Stop ignoring her. At least tell her why you don’t want to see her,” came a voice from the corner of the room.

Ryan turned, his eyes landing on Nelia, who stood there in a black-and-white maid’s outfit that clung snugly to her figure. Her curves were on full display, the outfit doing nothing at all, to hide them.

“Sigh…” He exhaled again, his mind debating his next move.

It had been three days since he’d allowed Nelia to glimpse his memories. Ever since, her attitude toward him had shifted—more accommodating, perhaps even doting. Yet there was a lingering pity in her eyes, as if his past weighed heavier on her than it did on him.

“No, I don’t think that’s the best course of action right now,” he said, pulling on his crisp, white shirt. He buttoned the cuffs before working his way up from his chest. Next came a pair of perfectly tailored trousers, followed by his oxblood blazer that completed the ensemble.

“Stop gawking, you horny fairy,” he said, grabbing a book and stuffing it into the small bag he’d bought during his last trip to the commercial district.

“Heh,” she grinned mischievously, her reaction catching him off guard.

“Hey, at least deny it!” Ryan exclaimed, his tone a mix of shock and exasperation. “These days, your actions practically scream, ‘Come and fuck me!'”

“… Shut up. Not that you’d actually have the guts to do it,” she shot back, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Nelia.” Ryan’s voice turned serious as he fixed her with a blank stare.

“Y-yeah?” she stammered, her confidence faltering under his gaze.

“Come here.”

Her eyes widened as he began unbuttoning his blazer.

“K-KYA! I WAS JUST KIDDING! DON’T STRIP IN FRONT OF ME!” she squealed, throwing her hands over her eyes.

Ryan ignored her outburst, continuing to remove the blazer. Just as he was about to follow through on his teasing threat, his Meta-watch buzzed again.

“Sigh…” He groaned, glancing at the caller ID before dismissing the notification. Resigned, he returned to putting his blazer back on.

“Huh? You’re not—?” Nelia started, only to huff. “Tsk. Coward.”

“Oh, you misunderstand,” Ryan replied coolly. “Fulfilling a slave’s fantasies requires certain tools. Let me buy some chains and a whip first. I won’t be long.”

Nelia’s face drained of color.

“N-No… WAIT! PLEASE, NO! I’M NOT A MASOCHIST!” she cried, panic seeping into her voice.

Ryan chuckled, heading toward the door. “Oh? But how will we know for sure if we don’t test it?”

He reached for the doorknob, twisting it, but her voice rang out again, halting him in his tracks.

“Ryan…” Nelia’s voice was soft, almost hesitant. “What—?”

Before he could respond, something barreled into him with enough force to knock him off balance. It took him a moment to realize it was Nelia herself, throwing her arms around him in a sudden, heartfelt embrace.

Damn it… being this weak is frustrating.

He thought bitterly, remembering how Selena’s hugs used to feel like being hit by a freight train.

“Can’t you wait until I come back?” he teased, running his fingers through her silky green hair, its texture as smooth as he remembered.

“Shut up, you idiot,” she snapped, though her voice was tinged with affection. She pulled back just enough to meet his gaze, and he fell silent, waiting for her to speak again.

“…About Renay…” she started, but Ryan cut her off quickly, his voice sharp.

“Please… anything but her. She’s gone. I’ve accepted that,” he said, his tone raw with suppressed emotion. “But at the very least, I want to keep the good memories I have of her. So, please… don’t.”

Nelia bit her lip, hesitation evident in her eyes. “You’re such a big idiot,” she said finally, pulling him into a tighter hug.

“I know. She told me that often enough,” Ryan replied, a bitter smile tugging at his lips as he gently patted the back of her head.

“You’re avoiding Selena because you don’t want a repeat of what happened to Renay, aren’t you?” she asked softly.

Ryan exhaled heavily, the sound weary and resigned. “I… I don’t like being played for a fool. Selena’s probably just toying with my emotions, leading me on. But why? If what she says is true, then why can’t she trust me? Why can’t she tell me anything? All I know about her is what the damn novel says,” he said bitterly, his hands curling into fists.

“It’s okay…” Nelia tried to soothe him, but he shook his head.

“It’s not okay!” he snapped, his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions. “Renay did the same thing. She lied. Over and over, she lied to me, deceived me, played me for a fool. And when I tried to walk away… she…” His voice broke as he clenched his teeth, his body trembling. “She ended her own life. That fucking idiot!”

Tears streamed down his face, the raw pain in his voice cutting through the air like a knife.

“I’m sorry for bringing it up,” Nelia murmured, realizing too late how deeply she had reopened his wounds.

Ryan swallowed hard, his throat tight.

“Selena isn’t her. Maybe… maybe she’s keeping things from you to protect you, so you won’t feel pressured,” Nelia offered gently, though her words felt inadequate.

Ryan sighed deeply, his frustration palpable. “And I can’t accept that. It’s better to end things now before we get too far in. I can’t be broken like that again. I don’t want to feel that emptiness… that desperation… that obsession.” His voice grew quieter with each word, laden with a despair that seemed to weigh down the room. “I don’t want to go insane again… not like before. Not enough to make another damned deal.”

Nelia pulled back slightly and cupped his face, bringing his head to rest against her chest. She held him close, her warmth a quiet reassurance.

“It’s okay. You won’t go through this alone. I’m here,” she whispered, her own voice trembling as tears slid down her cheek. A memory she’d tried so hard to bury rose unbidden, but she pushed it aside. “I’ll protect you, Ryan. No matter what.”

“I’ll protect you,” she vowed softly.

The trinket hanging around her neck began to glow faintly, though Ryan, lost in his grief, didn’t notice.

“I’ll protect you,” she repeated, her words a quiet promise to herself.

…

“Bro, I just found the perfect place where we can train and rack up some serious points,” Victor said with a wide grin as he and Ryan made their way to class.

“Wait… aren’t you a high-ranker?” Ryan asked, frowning.

“…Unfortunately, no,” Victor admitted with a disappointed sigh.

During the academy’s admission process, students were assigned ranks seemingly at random since the grading exams had yet to take place. However, the process wasn’t as arbitrary as it appeared. Only the most exceptional students received high-ranking positions, and even then, many of those spots were taken by individuals with the right connections.

“So, what’s this place?” Ryan asked after a pause, his curiosity piqued.

Victor turned to him with a smirk. “PVP ONLINE,” he announced excitedly.

Ryan’s response was immediate and resolute: “Absolutely not.” He didn’t spare the idea a single extra thought.

There was no chance—no way in the world—that Ryan would even consider it.

PVP Online was a battle platform where students wagered their points in combat. It wasn’t limited to students from the academy either. Participants came from other academies as well, making it a fierce competition. Apart from The Guardian Academy, there were three other academies, though they were rated lower. Those academies often had affiliations with either Yuphenia or Nevalia. In contrast, The Guardian Academy remained neutral, serving as a rare space where students from both empires could coexist without conflict.

But Ryan dreaded PVP Online for a simple reason: the wagers. Participants gambled their points to battle opponents, with the chance to win an equal or greater amount. The higher the stakes, the stronger the opponents. As a mere Level 2, Ryan knew that facing someone at Level 5 would be an instant defeat—no contest.

“Come on, you haven’t even given it a shot,” Victor said, shocked by Ryan’s complete rejection.

PVP Online wasn’t directly affiliated with the academies. It was run by a private company that profited handsomely from students eager to hone their skills and earn some extra cash. While it promised mutual benefit, it was eerily similar to gambling. Those who lacked strength often ended up losing whatever little they had.

The academy itself hosted its own version of online battles, but that system was reserved exclusively for second-year students—and only the high-ranking ones at that.

“Look,” Ryan said, holding up his Meta-Watch, “Do I even need to try to know how this would end?”

The two walked into the general lecture hall, their conversation still ongoing. However, Ryan suddenly felt an unsettling sensation. Turning his gaze, he spotted Selena sitting at the same seat they had occupied last time. She looked anything but happy.