The Royal Military Academy's Impostor Owns a Dungeon [BL] - Chapter 217

Chapter 217: Crimes
While some entities were committing crimes against the crown, there were those who were likely engaging in worse acts.

Like committing crimes against humanity, or worse, against crops.

And Jax witnessed all of it, putting him in a state of rare mortification.

He was not proficient in the kitchen and could never claim anything when it came to preparing food; he could only eat.

But this—

How could it be this bad?!

It was so bad they ended up juicing or blending the remaining vegetables so as not to waste them.

But what even led to this?

Hysteria, that’s what.

The people of the House of Kyros started feeling pressure because they did not have anything to serve their Young Lord.

At first, they could ignore this as there was still time.

But time ticked by so fast, even at the rate the space was going, and even now, as the heir would visit tomorrow, they still had nothing.

The main issue was the lack of knowledge.

Technically, they looked at the books that the adorable heir usually used when cooking, but surprisingly, or well, unsurprisingly, it was in a language they couldn’t understand.

Hmm.

And this is what Butler Han ended up facing when he tried researching.

Lots of cookbooks that only had a few photos and a lot of equipment he’d never seen before!

He returned with nothing.

Which, in turn, scared the Duke, who was likely (definitely) worse in the kitchen.

And their attempts at salvaging the situation was the massacre that Jax witnessed.

Vegetable peels, splatters of unidentifiable mush, and the lingering scent of burnt greens filled the air.

The common kitchen used for the store, once a place of pristine order, now resembled a battlefield of failed experimentation. Some poor vegetables had been juiced to the point of no return, while others lay in soupy oblivion inside toppled bowls.

“!!!”

Jax clenched his fists.

Not the vegetables!

These were his great-great-grandchildren! And the normally relaxed plant lover suddenly looked a tad bit demonic.

“Enough!” His voice boomed, not caring that he was saying this in front of much older adults and an actual Duke at that.

But there was no way that Jax would let this carnage continue!

He was also guilty of not knowing how to cook, but given this fact, he figured he’d at least ask around!

“If we don’t know what to do,” he growled, “then we’ll ask those who might.”

And so he stomped out of the kitchen, followed by guilty-looking adults who definitely knew they fucked up.

His goal?

The Elders.

They must have more life experiences, right?!

After all, if they knew how to grow things, surely they’d once known how to eat them. Right?

Wrong.

Or, partially wrong.

The bony Elders were gathered, their delicately attached bones making sounds in amusement as Jax explained the catastrophe that unfolded in the kitchen.

“You mean to tell us,” Elder Shen cackled, “that despite all the books and knowledge, none of you could figure out how to prepare a simple meal?

Jax’s scowl deepened. “Elder Shen, the books were useless. Luca’s cookbooks are written in a language none of them understand. And I’m not about to let them keep massacring vegetables!”

It was true, and in fairness to Jax, he understood why they were having a hard time. It was just that he hoped they’d experiment with other things and not his babies!

Or maybe stopped while some were still salvageable!

But what to do now when even Tortie didn’t take it when offered?!

The Elders exchanged thoughtful glances.

“Well,” mused Elder Wei while stroking his beard, “we’ve eaten plenty in our time. But our meals were made from things you won’t find here. Starblossom Fruit, Ember Eel, Radiant Lotus…”

None of those could be found here, and even then, they wouldn’t have enough spiritual energy to refine such dishes.

“None of those exist here,” agreed Jax, who had been trying to learn all the planted items in the space, and none of those felt familiar.

The Elder nodded.

“Ah, yes. Then we did simple things. Steamed roots, fresh greens, or—” his hands clapping in remembrance—”fish.”

“Fish?” Jax echoed.

The Elders responded in unison.

“Yes! Fresh fish, grilled with a bit of salt. No fuss, no failure. You can’t go wrong with fish!”

This wasn’t the first time he had heard about fish being edible, but…

Luca didn’t exactly identify which of those horrible-looking googly eyes they could eat.

But then the Elders said they’d help identify what was likely edible.

So it sounded foolproof.

Not to mention, the Salt that they’d need was something everyone had because Luca had given them a basic set of condiments so they would all stop fighting.

Okay.

That should be doable.

Simple. Efficient. And perhaps most importantly, Jax could ensure no more vegetables were sacrificed.

“We’ll try it out. Thank you, Elders.”

The Elders grinned triumphantly, or as much as bones could express a grin, much less triumph.

“That’s the spirit!”

By the time the seven of them reached the nearby waterway, enthusiasm was running high.

They talked about and tried producing makeshift rods with a plan to catch, grill, and feast with their Young Lord once they returned with a successful bounty.

And they were optimistic, especially considering that this was the gathering of the most optimistic people in their group.

But that was probably the first mistake.

The rods.

Not the optimistic people.

For the ‘optimistic people,’ was the second mistake.

They all remembered the fishes they saw when life began blossoming in the waters, and so they were surprised to see fishes that now looked like boulders.

“???”

“Are these seriously edible?” Asked Steward Han, who likely had valid doubts.

“Maybe they’re just like the chickens in the coop?” Answered Butler Gary, who was unsure even as he looked at those large eyes.

Maybe, or maybe not.

But this one fish they just caught was probably part of the maybe not.

Its massive, toothy grin twisted unnaturally, its entire body flapping with enough force to nearly yank the frail Elder Feng into the water.

The cursed thing wasn’t even remotely edible.

“Throw it back!” Jax barked.

The Elder, with some difficulty, complied.

Then came the Duke whose patience won out.

After an extended wait, he finally pulled up a sleek silver fish that gleamed in the sunlight.

Jax exhaled in relief. “Finally.”

But just as he stepped closer, Elder Shen frowned. “Hm. It’s too… normal. Not much of a catch, is it?”

Jax blinked. Normal?

And then, before Jax could stop him, the Duke proudly released the fish back into the water.

“Wh-why, Your Grace?!” Jax spluttered.

“The Elder said it was too normal! We’re aiming for the good ones!” Declared the Duke. “It’s only fair we give it a fighting chance!”

Jax could only stare.

“Why did I think this would work?” Asked the young lad, who suddenly felt like he could understand his good friend, Kyle.

The Elders, however, were unbothered. One gave him a cheerful pat on the back. “Not to worry, young one! We’ll get something eventually!”

And so, the “fishing trip” continued, with the promise of a successful dinner banquet.