The Scum Emperor's Redemption System - Chapter 133

Chapter 133: Who Takes Care of the Emperor Best? (2)
Okay, she thought. Maybe I do love them. A little. But they’ll never hear me admit it again.

“I can’t believe I survived last night…” she groaned, her voice muffled. “Five of them. Five wives. How am I still alive?” She peeked through her fingers at the trio standing awkwardly before her—Elira, Mira, and Elys—each looking equally intrigued and horrified.

“Wait… five?” Elira raised an eyebrow, leaning against the bedpost with a smirk. “I didn’t realize you were such an overachiever, Your Majesty.”

Argider shot her a glare, her cheeks burning. “It wasn’t like that! Nothing happened! They just… wouldn’t stop clinging to me! Do you have any idea how hard it is to sleep with five women constantly adjusting your pillows and ‘accidentally’ brushing against you?”

Elys, ever the bold one, snickered. “Sounds like a cozy nightmare.”

Mira adjusted her glasses, looking torn between mortification and scientific curiosity. “I can’t imagine the logistical challenges of such… arrangements,” she said cautiously. “But clearly, this is affecting your health, Your Majesty. You look utterly drained.”

Argider groaned louder, flopping dramatically onto her back. “Drained doesn’t even begin to cover it. I don’t even know what’s worse—the endless questions, the competitive cuddling, or the fact that Nyra told stories about me!”

Elira choked on a laugh, quickly covering her mouth, while Elys outright cackled. “Oh, I wish I’d been there to see their faces!”

“Stop laughing!” Argider whined, tossing a pillow at Elys, who dodged it effortlessly. “I’m serious! I can’t take this anymore. I need someone to actually help me, not make things worse!”

That was when the glint of rivalry sparked in their eyes.

“Oh, is that a challenge?” Elira asked, straightening up and flipping her long hair over her shoulder.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Mira huffed, crossing her arms. “The emperor doesn’t need theatrics; she needs proper care. I’m the obvious choice.”

“Hold on, I handled my pregnant mom before!” Elys interjected, her voice rising. “I’ve got way more experience than you two!”

Argider sat up slowly, blinking in disbelief. “Wait… are you seriously about to argue over who takes care of me better?”

“Of course we are,” Elira said smoothly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“And I intend to win,” Mira added firmly.

“This is going to be fun,” Elys declared, cracking her knuckles.

Argider groaned again, pulling her blanket over her head. Why do I even open my mouth?

The competition began with breakfast, which turned into an all-out battlefield.

“I’ve prepared a nutrient-rich porridge,” Mira announced, setting a tray down in front of Argider with an air of triumph. “Perfectly balanced for an expecting mother.”

Argider eyed the porridge warily. It was gray and lumpy, and she wasn’t entirely sure it was meant for humans.

Elira sauntered in with a plate of golden pastries, their scent making Argider’s stomach growl. “Or,” she said with a smug smile, “you could have something that doesn’t look like it was scraped out of a cauldron.”

Mira bristled. “Pastries are not a substitute for proper nutrition!”

“And your porridge is an insult to cuisine,” Elira shot back.

Before they could escalate further, Elys appeared with a steaming bowl of soup. “Forget both of them! My chicken soup is the real deal—comforting, delicious, and good for the soul!” She set it down with a flourish, then smirked at the others. “Beat that.”

Argider, overwhelmed by the sheer amount of food and the competitive glares being thrown around, hesitated. “Um… they all look… great?” she said weakly, hoping to diffuse the tension.

“Try mine first!” Mira insisted, thrusting a spoonful of porridge toward her.

“No, mine!” Elira countered, shoving a pastry in her direction.

“Soup!” Elys chimed in, holding out a spoon.

Argider sighed and reluctantly started sampling each one, trying not to choke on the sheer pressure of their expectant gazes. This is my life now. Death by overfeeding.

The next event was relaxation, which was somehow even more chaotic.

Mira brought out a stack of books and insisted on reading aloud about the best practices for prenatal care.

“Did you know,” she began in her lecture tone, “that proper posture during pregnancy can significantly reduce back pain—”

“Boring!” Elira interrupted, rolling her eyes. She pulled Argider to her feet and started leading her in a slow, graceful dance. “What you need is to loosen up, Your Majesty. Let me show you the art of stress relief.”

Elys, meanwhile, was setting up a small table with an assortment of creams and oils. “Forget both of them. I’m giving you the ultimate foot massage.”

Argider, caught in the middle of this whirlwind of “care,” threw her hands up. “Can I just sit in a chair and do nothing? Please?”

“Not until you pick a winner,” Elys said cheerfully, already kneeling by her feet.

“Winner of what? My sanity?” Argider muttered, sinking into a chair with a sigh.

By the end of the day, Argider was more exhausted than she’d been after last night. The trio hovered around her like overly competitive bees, each trying to outdo the other in their attempts to “help.”

As the sun set, Mira finally declared, “This is ridiculous. We need to let the emperor rest.”

Elira smirked. “Admitting defeat already?”

“Hardly,” Mira shot back. “I’m simply being practical.”

Elys, still beaming with confidence, patted Argider’s hand. “Don’t worry, Your Majesty. We’ll take care of you tomorrow too!”

“Please don’t,” Argider mumbled, half-asleep.

As the trio finally retreated, she let out a long, weary sigh, sinking into the blissful silence. They’re insane, she thought, a small smile tugging at her lips. But… maybe I don’t mind so much.

Just as Argider thought she could finally relax, the trio returned, each with a determined gleam in their eyes.

“She needs proper rest,” Mira declared.

“And what better way than a lap pillow?” Elira added, already settling herself on the couch and patting her thighs.

“I’ll go first!” Elys said, nudging the other two aside and sitting cross-legged on the bed.

Argider stared at them in disbelief. “Is this really necessary?”

“Absolutely,” Elira said with a grin.

Before she could protest further, Mira gently guided her head onto Elys’s lap. “There, now close your eyes and relax.”

Argider sighed deeply, her cheek pressed against Elys’s soft lap. “I don’t know whether to feel pampered or suffocated,” she muttered, but she couldn’t help the small smile creeping onto her lips. At least they’re trying… I guess.