What Do You Mean I'm The Captain Of A Yandere Mercenary Company? - Chapter 155

Chapter 155: Your Kitchen Sucks
I almost threatened him to show me his kitchens before he finally led me to them.

Godamnit, was that so hard? It’s just your kitchen, right? What did you think I was going to do to it? I’m not someone suspicious you know? Or do you want me to vomit all over your floor, huh?

I was guided to a set of double swing doors at the back, swallowing to keep down the bile that almost rose up again when I tasted a little of that disgusting thing I had put inside my mouth earlier.

That thing can’t even be qualified to be called food, it’s just plain disgusting…

I stumbled past the doors and got ready to start making some actual food!

…

What the heck is this?

Their ‘kitchen’ consisted of only a single machine which I assumed was the food processor, a fridge, a sink and a kitchen counter. The only other thing here was a small drone whose only function seemed to be carrying stuff from the fridge to the food processor before delivering it to the bar area.

That was it.

There was nothing else aside from what I had just listed above.

I turned to the bar owner who had led me here, “What is this?”

“Our kitchen, like you asked?”

“This sad place is your kitchen? What? Didn’t you say you prepare the food yourself?!”

He furrowed his brows, “Yeah? I buy the synthfood myself! Look lady, it wasn’t my idea to let you use the kitchen to satisfy yourself, ok? I’m not even charging you for this. I’m just here to see if you’re as delusional as I think you are.”

“Careful there,” Amber spoke up from behind him.

He half turned to face her, “What? Are you going to beat me up?”

“No, no. I don’t need to. You’ll be questioning your existence very soon. I’m just helping you by making sure you don’t dig too deep of a hole for yourself that you can’t get yourself out of. At least at the moment, you just need to admit your mistakes and apologise to get your dignity back.”

The modded bar owner raised an eyebrow at her words but said nothing more.

I decided to just focus on what I can do since I literally can’t go on with that revolting taste stuck in my mouth. I don’t even want to try and describe what it tastes like.

“What can I use?” I asked.

The bar owner gestured at the fridge, “Just use whatever. We’re going to be restocking tomorrow anyway so whatever that’s left in there will be thrown out by the end of tonight.”

Alright then, let’s see what we have to work with over here.

I opened the fridge and pretty much found the standard synthfood packages stuffed inside the fridge. I even recognised some of them since I bought them myself.

I also found the synthfries and the synthchicken bites that were literally packed into packets that apparently would be placed inside the food processor to be turned into what I saw earlier.

These, which I learned some time ago, belong to a specific category of synthfood that were meant to be prepared inside the food processor to be turned into what they were supposed to look like.

Apparently if you just opened the packets by itself, you would find them to be in some kind of processed food cube.

You can still eat it by themselves but it wouldn’t taste like what they claim to be on the packaging.

Not that I felt it tastes anything like it after going through a food processor anyway but that’s beside the point.

I pulled out one of the synthfries and synthchicken bites out of the fridge and opened them to pour its contents on the counter top.

I did not have a stove so I’ll have to make something without needing to heat it up, which limits my options a little.

For now, I just want to try out how these taste.

I looked around, “Err… Where are your knives?”

The bar owner raised an eyebrow, “Knives? Who are you trying to kill?”

Wait, don’t you need… Ah fuck… They just toss the packets into the food processor, of course they don’t need knives.

Well, good thing I brought my own then!

I pulled out my vibration knife from my sheath and used it to cut off a piece of the cube that was supposed to be the synthfries before bringing it up to my mouth to taste.

Hmm… Ok… Definitely doesn’t taste like fries at all but there’s the salty, springy taste about it… Which I realised ironically tastes a little like salted lettuce actually.

Definitely not appetising but I can make use of this.

As for the synthchicken bites…

Hmm… It’s rubbery and pretty much tasteless.

I don’t know what it tastes like after it goes through the food processor and frankly… I don’t really want to know so let’s just leave it at that.

I then went back to the fridge and took out some things that I felt might help and started putting them on the counter.

Thankfully, there’s some spare bowls and plates around so I could use them to mash the ingredients together to mix them together, something that made the bar owner let out a shocked gasp when he saw it.

“What in the galaxy are you doing?!”

I gave him a look, “Preparing the food? What does it look like?”

“You’re destroying it, that’s what! Are you even sure you know how to cook?!”

“Tossing shit into the food processor is not cooking. This is real cooking. You just stand there and watch.”

I then went back to mixing the stuff together until they formed the consistency and the taste that I was looking for before moving to the next one.

In case you were wondering, I was making a sandwich.

I don’t need a stove for that and can just make it as it is.

The good thing was that there was at least synthbread which actually looked like bread straight from the package except that it didn’t really taste like anything which was actually preferable in this context.

Once I had mixed up everything I needed, I took the slices of synthbread that I cut using my vibration knife and laid them out on the counter before spreading the synthfood I mixed on top of the bread.

It kind of felt like I was spreading jam on the bread instead of putting the meat, lettuce and cheese on top of it, which was what I was trying to do with this.

The end result felt kind of like I just dumped some canned slop in between two pieces of bread and it looked anything but like a sandwich. But hey, I think it would at least taste better than that disgusting thing called synthfries.

I even made four sandwiches so everyone here had one that they could try for themselves.

“There we go. Four sandwiches made from synthfood. There’s enough for everyone so no need to fight~”

Amber did not hesitate and came forward to claim one for herself with a look of anticipation on her face.

Lea only hesitated for a second before also picking one up for herself, probably because she trusted the food of the bar owner’s less than she trusted mine.

The bar owner himself stared at the sandwich I made for a good long minute before finally reaching forward to pick one up.

“What the hell is this slop?” He asked.

“If I had a stove, I could make it look more appealing but I can at least guarantee the taste.”

Without waiting for him, I bit into it and tore a bite out of the sandwich to chew on it.

The taste of bacon, cheese, sausage, lettuce and butter filled my mouth, completely overwhelming and wiping out the disgusting taste of the synthfries I ate earlier.

The texture of it felt like I was chewing on wet, canned tuna put between two dry pieces of bread but at least the taste more than made up for it.

Definitely not my best work but I would say that it’s my best under these circumstances.

Also…

“So gooooooooddddd!!” Amber moaned, her body literally shaking from chewing the sandwich she bit into.

Lea was also silently chewing on her food while a single tear rolled down her cheek.

I would have thought she was crying because the food was bad had I already not known how she acts when eating my food so I knew it was the opposite of that.

The bar owner stared at his sandwich with a complicated face before opening his mouth to take the smallest of bites from the sandwich.

He chewed it once, then he froze. He chewed it a second time and then he paused again. A third chew and then he swallowed, his eyes widening comically as his brain seemed to take a while to comprehend what was going on in his mouth.

Then right after that, he was devouring the sandwich in messy bites, almost like a starved man who had just found food after several days.

Mmhmm~ I think I can say that I’m already used to such a sight so I didn’t make that big of a fuss and just continued to enjoy my sandwich~